Pain and struggle is no stranger to any student, we have all encountered it at some point. It no longer feels strange to us since it is an experience that has become a constant elements in most students life. Most times I wonder how we humans always find ways to get back on our feet despite going through a lot of difficulties and challenges in life. It almost feels like we are immune to pain but sadly we are not. There is a saying, "If you live long enough you will forget how much it hurts. When you think about the pain you have felt in the past you would realise all you have is a memory of it, a scar or regret but never the full length of how it hurts when it happened.
The truth is, I have been through a lot of difficulties in my life as a human and as a student, some were self inflicted while others were just life showing who is boss. Speaking of a situation that hit me the hardest as a student, I remember during my pursuit of higher national diploma in Mass communication at Moshood Abiola polytechnic, as a passionate student whose career is dictated by the desire of making a difference. I faced a situation When I had to choose between what was right and what I wanted.
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In most institution in Nigeria where you can study mass communication, you have to choose either print or broadcast. My passion for broadcast related stuff is something I have discussed on multiple occasions on this platform but it was not just a passion, it was something that was backed up with experience. I did my CIWES and Industrial training in a broadcast station called Lagos traffic radio where I developed more interest in the field of broadcast.
In the studio with my colleague
Gaining admission in Moshood Abiola polytechnic, I had already made up my mind about choosing broadcast. I also had a friend who was my course mate during national diploma who also encouraged me to choose broadcast. After attending a couple of classes from both course I find myself facing a situation I never prepared for.
The issue was that the lecturer in charge of lecturing print student was far better than the lecturer teaching broadcast student in a lot of ways. I once wrote an essay to appraise the lecturer on my blog last year. I knew what I wanted was broadcast but it was so obvious that choosing print over broadcast at that moment was the best thing for me. So I kept on attending print classes for some weeks in HND 1 first semester to the extent I was chosen as the print student HOC due to my contribution in class. It felt good but I never felt comfortable with the decision I have made.
After awhile I switched back to broadcast to satisfy my desire, I remember being called by the print lecturer to ask me about why I made such a decision, I explained to him. His reply was strange, he smiled and said, "you should have stayed if only you knew better, but his opinion never mattered to me, I felt like he was probably trying make me regret my decision.
Just a couple of broadcast class I attended I knew there was a clear difference between heaven and hell. When I said the print lecturer was far better than the broadcast lecturer you probably think I was talking about their teaching techniques only but it was more than that. Have you ever seen a lecturer that rain curses on students for not buying his textbooks? A lecturer that threatens to fail who ever refused to buy his textbooks? A lecturer that feel joyful whenever he fails his students? A lecturer that claims no one will ever get "A" in his course, and sincerely no one did. There were so much more atrocities committed by this lecturer that I can't mention in this post.
To make matters worst, this same broadcast lecturer was also our class advisor, which added more fire to the hellish situation we were facing. While print student were jubilating for getting " A" in print, we broadcast student could not dare do the same. The most painful aspect of it was that we broadcast student undergo lot of practicals compared to the print student but yet their grades was better than ours, these are not cheap practicals, this is an example of one of the practicals I posted on 3speak. In a semester each student can contribute up to 30-40000 Naira for practical, excluding the cost of buying textbooks.
I remember waking up in the night few times shedding tears for the wrong decision I have made, I wish I could go back to being a print student. I remember leading a protest along with other concerned broadcast student against our broadcast lecturer in HND 2 second semester when it became too difficult for us to endure. The protest kind of humiliated him a little which made him have some kind of grudge against me for being rebellious, he would have failed me if he had the chance. Since I knew the kind of lecturer he was I had to perform extraordinarily in his course to avoid giving him an opportunity.
A picture of me and my colleagues
Did I ever think of giving up? Probably a little. The fact about me is that, I'm thick-skinned, I don't back off easily or else the situation is tantamount to my extinction. I just kept pushing knowing much sacrifices have been made for me to get to the level I was but I didn't do it alone. I had other lecturers that offer me some kind of moral support through their lectures and conversations in class. Most times when I'm overwhelmed by the struggle I look for something to distract myself with, there weren't many options to choose from. As a student I was a loner, i enjoyed my own company a lot.
There are various ways I distract myself, the first one is writing. I loved writing essays on controversial topics and poems, it allows me to empty the thoughts in my mind. When I'm done I feel famished which leads to my second method of distraction, Food!!! Nothing can stand the power of a good meal and the city of panseke in Abeokuta have plenty of it. I look for a good restaurant or Bucca and eat till there is no space left on me. When I get home, I pick a very nice movie, watch it and sleep off. The next day, I rise up a new me.
The fact is, no student struggle last forever, it is just a phase of life, it will end and you will still end up missing it.
This write-up was inspired by weekly prompt "As a student what keeps you going when you feel like giving up" in hive student connect community.
Cover image - 𝖣𝖾𝗌𝗂𝗀𝗇𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗌𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖼𝖺𝗇𝗏𝖺
Image 1 - Source
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