Humans are social creatures, we form attachment with anything we hold dear. Everything in a human life tells a story, which further fuels the need for us to hold onto specific things. It is quite funny When you see some humans hold unto somethings, even if such things is of no value or meaning but it means everything to them.
This things we form emotional attachment with are usually something that happens to be the remain of a past we so much cherish or someone we could no longer see. The more valuable the story that hangs on the object is, the more valuable it will have. As beautiful as this might seem, when we hold unto this items for too long, especially the ones that are remains of traumatic memories, it is capable of making us miserable.
Does it not make humans pitiful? for an object with no life at all to have so much control over us. The longer we hold unto this things, the more difficult it becomes to let go. To make it worst, sometimes we really want to let go of these items, just to prevent us from reliving the past but whenever we try, a feeling of guilt or betrayal arouse from within us. In situations like this how do we let go of these items?
Walking down memory lane, I have had my share of emotional attachment to items. The most powerful of it all was my late maternal grandmother's items. I knew her all my life, from the time she used to visit till she finally decided to reside with us. Everything I knew about culture, language and traditions was from her. She was the closest maternal relative I had and she did her best in making sure we were equipped with knowledge about life in the west.
Her perspective of humanity was top notch because we had every reason to disagree with her due to differences in religion but she managed to make us see things from the humanity point of view. This idea took root in our minds till it became a perspective of ours. So when she died, I don't remember crying or screaming like everybody else. I just stood still and watched the whole burial process occur without saying anything about her death.
I guess a part of me couldn't believe she was gone, I was still finding my way to accept my new reality, I was in denial. So when I came back from her hometown where we went for the burial, I went to her room and I felt a part of me was expecting to meet her there but I didn't. I guess that was when it dawned on me that she was no more, a moment of truth.
I should have allowed myself to grieve and be consoled but I didn't. All that was left was me, my emotions and the void in me that nothing else could fill. I could feel myself tearing apart from within, so in order to get some closure, I decided to cling onto the items my late grandma frequently used. Somehow those things seems to help me maintain the illusion of her presence.
Holding unto her items caused a little bit of issue between me and my maternal cousins. They were also entitled to her items too but I was not willing to let go of any of it and I couldn't find the right words to explain why. The worst part was, none of it made any sense. My late grandmother was a Muslim and me and my family are Christians, the items she frequently made use of were her tasbih (rosary), praying mat, radio and other tools. It was obvious to my family that most of these items were of no use to me, so it made it a little difficult for them to understand why I was holding onto this items.
If only I could explain myself but I couldn't. Holding onto those items, it made it a lot easier for me to process my thoughts about her and over time the void created by her absence started closing up and my grip on those items began to loosen. I finally manage to release some of the items to my siblings and cousins, and truthful I wouldn't know how I managed to do that.
I guess for me, there isn't any specific strategy to letting go of some items we already form emotional attachment with, I believe it gets to a time you would know within yourself that it is time to let go. By that time, whatever a person was using the items to fill its/their absence, he/she might have found ways to deal with it. After all, the best healer of all emotional scars is time, so give it time.
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