When you visit most homes, you will discover that children are mostly connected to their mothers. They flow more easily with them than their fathers, when they are troubled it's their mom they run to, when they are hungry it's their mom they reach out to, when they feel insecure it's still their mom they often run to, and not the father most of the time.
This is so because 90% of the time, it's the mother that the child has around. The first arm that often embraces a child when he or she is born is usually the mother. After that it continues, it's she who breastfeeds the child, bathes the child, and cares for the child until the age of maturity.
This makes the child know more about the mother and bond well with her than with the father. The father might be there providing for the family but the mom is there showing love and attention which is another crucial thing every child needs at that tender age.
To some individuals it might be okay, but to anyone who wants to become a reasonable father that should be a cause for concern.
Women are given a certain period of time to relax and care for their child after birth but the man is not given any special opportunity at all to bond with his child when he/she is born.
The only moment he has to familiarize himself and interact with the child is when he is back from work. We all know that it takes a lot of time to create a good relationship with our children. Being off and on when you are supposed to be there will definitely cost the man more to achieve a good relationship with the child. Coming later on to start creating a relationship with your child when he or she is grown up can be a bit stressful.
I don't want to say it's unfair to allow both the man and his wife to go on break in order to groom their newborn baby but seriously, I think it's something very critical that ought to be put into consideration.
The child is not just for the wife but the husband's as well. It would even be better when the husband is around to assist the wife in caring for the child while she recovers from the birth.
This way, the child will grow up having a good relationship from childhood with both parents. The father would not look like the devil and ghost to his children anymore because they are already familiar with each other.
In some homes, children find it difficult to approach their fathers because of fear, they have to go through their mothers, most times the fathers are not even harsh but because their relationship is weak, they find it hard to blend in. I believe that if they had the privilege to bond while the child was still very young, it would not have been so.
Well, that desire to have men go for paternity leave can only remain a wish, but It's not a barrier to creating a good relationship with our children. At any age a father can create a good bond with his children, it might be stressful when you don't start it when the child is young but it doesn't mean it's not achievable, with dedication and the right knowledge it would be reached.
