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No one is perfect has become a very popular cliche nowadays, as humans we are just so much full of imperfections and weaknesses. Over the years I have been wondering why no matter how good or excellent a person is, there must be one or two lopeholes in his life. No matter how skillful one maybe in tackling issues there must be a part of his life that he himself Is battling with. Guess that is what makes us human.
Truth be told, everyone of us has that one thing or more that has been like a thorn in our flesh several efforts to take it out has always been a failure. Sometimes some of those things are not necessarily bad in themselves and they might be a legal stuff before the general public but to an individual it could be a reason for stagnation. Although to some that weaknesse could be a bad habit or an addiction.
For me, one thing I hate so much and always want to do away with is my simplicity. I don't know how this is but it looks like a special trait I was born with. A lot of times I wonder why even when someone has offended me a million times and I promised myself never to forgive them or punished them to realize their wrongs I end up not doing anything at all when I come in contact with the person even when they didn't apologize.
I try my best to understand others but in return what I often get is the opposite. I bring myself low to make others feel comfortable but they often use that as an opportunity to look down on me and treat me like someone naive. I open up to my friends easily thinking trusting them with my secrets and pains would pave a way for a smooth relationship and bring ease to my soul but each time I trust one with my secrets I get stabbed a multiple times. Trying to be nice to everyone has made me turned into a topic of the day. I wonder why people out there are just waiting for the slightest opportunity to bring others down, the painful thing about this matter is that these set of people are always those we call friends.
Simplicity has made me kept quiet even when my rights has been encroached, I saw it as making peace reign. Someone can just tell me rubbish and do stupid things and I'll keep quiet because he or she is older than I am. I became like a slave. It made me loose confidence and I am seeing myself as someone who is always inferior. It eats me deep inside because I could walk away from a scene that I claimed I left for peace to reign and go home having sleepless nights over the issue. I am a kind of person that words pierces badly, just a little careless talk from someone can ruin my sleep yet simplicity would not allow me me open up to the person. For this cause I only smile with some persons in that face but deep within I know I am not okay with them. Is this not a disease?
You respect others and try to make them feel valued even though it goes against your emotions and class but on the other hand, they use it to mock you and ensure they pull you down completely. Through simplicity I have been punished for things I didn't do. Through simplicity I got strips that were not supposed to be directed at me yet i didn't do anything because I needed peace to reign and the most annoying part is that after receiving all those stripes the peace will not still reign because the people will never see the that you allowed yourself to be crucified so that they may learn . Instead they will see you as a fool and would increase the intensity of the whip on you next time because probably they feel you may eventually grow up soon , so they better use that opportunity to make you serve well while you're within their power.
I thought life is supposed to be a vice versa something, you give me , I give you but our world today has totally changed, the one trying to make peace and things right becomes the one to suffer. The day you decide to start taking others ahead of you, they soon grow horns and would want to step on your head. Sometimes I wonder why life is so.
Well seriously I wish I could just take away my simplicity and be very tough, I want to be able to stare at whatever confronts me and confront it too then later settle it because I understand that peace works effectively after disputes. I don't like that feeling of inferiority my simplicity has caused me not that I want to be raising shoulders or something but I wish people would just understand me . But each time I try to be tough, I find myself becoming more simpler. It's like putting on a costume, as soon as the drama is done , you will definitely have to take it off, It doesn't last. In fact I feel guilty each time I try to confront anyone encroaching my right. Like I don't want anyone to be hurt because if me even if they are they cause meanwhile on the other hand I used to be seriously injured after making them feel good.
So my beloved friends, this is a heart cry. I would love to hear your own opinion concerning this matter. I need help seriously.
This post has was inspired by the third Edition of week 44 contest on Hive Learners community with the titled : Your Most Hated Things.
