It was something that usually hurt me badly due to how emotional I used to be. Things like that, in those days usually made me anxious.
And I would try to do anything possible to get the person back, unfortunately, most times I end up harming myself the most.
There is this popular Yoruba proverb that changed my mentality, “twenty friends can not play together for twenty years.”
In life you will lose people and people will lose you. Circumstances, growth and so many others will occur to ensure that this happens.
When I realized that truth, I became matured and never bothered when people start showing me signs that they want to leave my life.
In our day, ghosting is one of the moves people make whenever they want to break a bond with people. Suddenly someone who calls and chats with you regularly will cease, and disappear, you try their lines, but it won't connect.
You will check their social media regularly and they will not be active. Gosh, that thing hurts badly.
A friend of mine was telling me about her recent breakup, she said her boyfriend started by telling her he is into forex trading and therefore he would not be available as usual.
She consented, everything was moving as he wanted, he called only when he felt like it and took her call only when he was less busy.
Then suddenly, the guy disappeared, no calls, no text and he was not online for six months. Throughout that time, she didn't hear from him then one day he showed up.
She was plain to him, she had moved on already. The guy was like he got a job and was in training that was why he wasn't active.
Their case was complicated, I don't know who to support but I feel he was at fault, he should have at least let her know that he would be away for sometime, so that she can decide whether to wait or move on, ghosting her automatically meant that he was no longer interested.
Although I feel there is a time when we ought to ghost people to grow, we must also do it the right way.
Back to me, ghosting people is something I do regularly, and it's not that I don't care or something, but I believe in disappearing to fix my life then returning.
This year I have lost a lot of friends because of that. One moment we are close, being together everyday and talking regularly on phone, the next moment I am nowhere to be found and my lines are off.
I had this friend, Jessica, we live in the same town. I met her in church one Sunday.
We became very close and people thought we were dating. The truth is I liked her but I just wanted us to be friends.
We were so cool, she was almost like a lover, we chatted often, talked on phone and visited each other as occasion permits.
Then life began hitting hard on me. My financial life was going down, bills were piling up and I became so frustrated that I didn't know what to do.
Everyday I wake up with worries and pains, gradually, I started feeling unloved and I didn't want to have anyone around.
So, I bought a new SIM card and dropped the old one. I also deleted all my social media and I decided to dedicate my time and energy to work and to learn a few digital skills.
I told my mother that time that anyone who asked about me, she should tell him/her that I traveled and she complied.
When I finally decided to resume social media, and start going out of the house, people were asking if I had travelled.
The day I went to see my friend Jessica, I realized she had transformed. She was no longer the person I knew.
See said I didn't value our friendship, if not I wouldn't have ghosted her. Well, I tried making some effort to be the friend that I once was to no avail so I stopped and moved on.
Ghosting is not entirely bad as some people thought it is but it depends on the purpose which it was done. Sometimes it can be a tool for growth.
The truth is sometimes when you are around so many people you get distracted, but shutting down everything and staying away from the crowd gives room for focus and commitment.
However, ghosting people to punish them for offending you doesn't appeal to me. It's a sign of immaturity. Unfortunately, a lot of people, especially in relationships, think it is the best way to punish wrongs.
Instead of taking things out and speaking their minds, they snub, refuse to take calls and leave messages unread, LOL. The bad side to this is that the person might get used to it and eventually adjust to accommodate you that way.
Anytime you start the act, they just watch you do your thing and allow you to come back to your senses without them getting hurt anymore.
N.B: All Images Were Generated By Meta AI