Most people misunderstand this concept of jealousy and think it's always bad, but no! Jealousy is natural, and it is not bad until one allows it to lead them to do evil.
This topic is not as simple as it sounds; one has to tackle it with balance in order not to mislead anyone, and I just hope I will be able to do it justice.
Growing up, I have heard a lot of things about jealousy; I have heard of people who killed others and their partners as a result of jealousy.
I have heard of men who beat the hell out of their lovers out of jealousy, and to be frank, that's terrible because love is supposed to be harmless. In fact, anything that can make one think of harming another person is not love; it can be jealousy, but an evil one.
I have been jealous before; I have been made to think about different things which made me feel insecure, but never have I thought of doing anything crazy to satisfy my feelings.
As I pointed out earlier, you can not love without being jealous, but your jealousy should not invite danger.
These days, what many people call jealousy is merely evil and insecurity rather than love. They are not necessarily trying to protect whom they love but to control them.
If I am in a relationship with a lady that I can not trust and she keeps giving me reasons to doubt her, over time, the best I can do is leave rather than to allow myself to get jealous continuously because the longer one stays in jealousy, the higher the chances of the person harming whoever is causing it.
I have a friend who has been in a relationship with a young man for almost seven years. Things were fine until he traveled out in search of a better life for them.
The lady started keeping men as friends, and eventually her lover discovered it, and he became so uncomfortable. He took my number from her phone one of those days and called me.
I was surprised. He said quite several things that should have pissed me off, but I understood him. If I were in his shoes, I would have felt the same way; the difference would have been that I wouldn't react the way he did.
I spoke to the lady about it and warned her to limit her relationship with other men, even if it were harmless, because one day her boyfriend would do something crazy to her if it persisted, but my advice fell on deaf ears.
One day, she came to my place, and I realized she had a swollen face. Her boyfriend beat the hell out of her when he saw her with a young man whom he concluded was his rival.
I was quite pissed, but I had nothing to do about it. The truth is, the young man loves my friend, but he is scared of losing her to another man. Probably because of the sacrifices and the moments they had.
But such jealousy won't solve anything. If she wants to cheat on him, she will, but if she loves and respects him, she would surely keep herself for him.
This guy doesn't allow this girl to step outside, and when she does, he calls literally every ten minutes, and she is obligated to pick up; if she doesn't, he immediately suspects she is with a man.
That level of insecurity is gross; love is not supposed to be this way. I mean, their mistake in the first place is courting themselves without trust.
Many will think the guy is toxic, which is true, but the lady also has faults. This is a lesson for us; if you can not trust a person, don't date them.
Jealousy is not constrained to relationships alone; it happens in friendships, family, and even at work, one just has to watch out.
There is nothing wrong with having that insecure feeling, but it should never be the lead for our decisions. Jealousy is normal, but we must learn how to subdue it and place it under our control.
Practical ways to avoid using jealousy wrongly are to avoid taking actions immediately you have the feelings. Take some time away to process everything and then react when you are calm.
Never think of doing evil when you are feeling jealous; it will make you do unimaginable things.
If you can't trust someone, don't put so many expectations on them. Put limits and expect anything to happen. Never place priority on them, and never invest what you can not lose on them.
In conclusion, jealousy is a protective shield on the heart; its primary assignment is to never allow the heart to get cheated by those it cares for or things they desire.
But one must learn how to manage and use it correctly because if it's left unchecked, it can become a deadly weapon.
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