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emmistilton
@emmistilton
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2018-04-22 13:15
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emmistilton
satire
2018-12-07 16:49
Australia will never be safe until the government has the power to do as it pleases
Australia will never be safe until the government has the power to do as it the pleases, the Australian government has confirmed today. The news comes after parliament pushed through anti encryption laws
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emmistilton
travel
2018-12-05 19:42
6 Things I Learnt After Spending The Past 3 Months in North Korea, Iran and Iraq
(1) It is very easy to get swept up in something evil In North Korea I attended a performance called the mass games. It is a huge spectacle and entirely dedicated to the greatness of Kim Jong Un. When
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emmistilton
sex
2018-08-30 09:24
Emmis uncensored: “My bumble date said 3 words to me that made my balls explode”
Every week I'm treated to a story on my apple news app by Nadia Bokody. She's a writer for Mama Mia and the stories revolve around her sexual adventures. It is brave (fierce even) and I find it so inspiring
emmistilton
satire
2018-08-22 11:13
"Stop sensationalising the news" says man who compares anyone who disagrees with him to hitler
The Nazi's are everywhere. That's according to 28 year old perpetual student Thomas Creedence and it's only a matter of time before we're over run. “It is obvious we are starting to go down the same path
emmistilton
satire
2018-08-22 09:46
#MeToo founder set to receive fair trial and due process after having sex with underage boy
Leaders of the #MeToo movement have called for calm and due process after leader Asia Argento was accused of having sex with an underage child actor. Ms Argento, who was one of the leaders accusing Harvey
emmistilton
satire
2018-07-20 06:10
Interview With A White Knight
The name in this article has been changed because the last thing this man wants is attention. It didn't take much congratulations for Nate Smith's progressive views before he realised he was one of the
emmistilton
trans
2018-07-20 02:42
Trans woman dies of cancer after failing to tell Dr she identified with having a prostate
A trans woman, otherwise known as a biological man, has died from prostate cancer after her doctor saw no reason for an examination because she identified as a typical woman. Evie Longman wasn't diagnosed
emmistilton
satire
2018-05-27 06:34
Wild celebrations as Ireland votes yes to the killing of unborn babies
The people of Ireland have burst out in wild celebrations overnight after a referendum passed allowing pregnant women to terminate unwanted pregnancies. Feminists have long fought for abortion rights due
emmistilton
satire
2018-05-14 23:51
Africans accuse black Americans of cultural appropriation
A group of Kenyan men have told black Americans to stop appropriating African culture after a series of high profile black entertainment being released by the movie and music industries. The criticism
emmistilton
sex
2018-04-30 13:46
Studies reveal "A Real Man" isn't afraid to cuck
Every few years society comes up with a definition of what it means to be a “real man” and those among us who believe in such things quickly adapt. For years men believed they had to suppress their emotions
emmistilton
bitcoin
2018-04-30 07:58
Confessions of a Dark Net Drug Dealer Part 1
The following story was told to me by someone who wished to remain anonymous. I first got into drug dealing not long after my sister killed herself. It was early 2016 and i was taking a lot of drugs and
emmistilton
introduceyourself
2018-04-29 11:06
Hi, I write satire and I post it here
Hi everyone, My name is Emmis Tilton and i write satire. I live in Australia. My website is www.thestocktontimes.com if you feel like checking it out. Cheers
emmistilton
satire
2018-04-29 10:05
Studies show alcohol in moderation is healthy due to everyday life being far more harmful
Research from the USA has proven that moderate alcohol use is beneficial to health simply because nothing is more harmful to health than everyday life. Dr Claudia Kawas from the University of California
emmistilton
writing
2018-04-29 09:59
Local man forced back to porn after housemate breaks up with girlfriend
A Sydney man has been forced back into the perverse world of online pornography after his housemates broke up and robbed him of the sounds he used to masturbate to. Brendan Davis used to get most of his
emmistilton
bitcoin
2018-04-28 17:06
Old man with no understanding of bitcoin convinced it’s a bubble
54 year old Brendan Lucas will be the first person to tell you he knows a thing or 2 about money. After all, he’s spent nearly 8 years investing in the stock exchange and has nearly broken even after all
emmistilton
satire
2018-04-22 13:20
Male feminist wondering how long does he have to agree with women until he gets laid
For the past 6 months Davey Thompson has attended every meeting of his local feminist group. With passionate speeches he has denounced the evils of the male gender and held himself up as an exception.
