We had been together for a while, well not really together, together but we’ve done everything couples usually do. We’ve gone on a few dates, we talk not a lot but we talk, we’ve been intimate well more than the dates and talks but we are good, I think. Maybe he’ll ask me to be his girlfriend real soon. But we’ve been going on for months and there’s still no assurance, I think I should probably bring up the conversation.
“Babe” I called out
“Yeah”
“Why aren’t you in a relationship?” With me, but I don’t have the courage to say that.
“I told you I’m not ready to be in a relationship “
“So what are we doing?”
“We are more like friends”
“That are intimate?”
“Isabel, you know if I ever want a relationship you know it will be with you, I’m not just ready”
I’m ready, we’ve been on for months and I can’t think of anyone else I’d love to be with. But maybe he’s not just ready, when he’s ready he’ll probably choose me, I’ll make him realize.
Don’t judge Isabel, most of us have been in her shoes, we’ve loved someone who claims they aren’t ready for a relationship whereas you are. They want to be friends, they want the benefits that comes from a relationship but they don’t want a relationship, they call it a situationship.
I’ve written an article on this topic but on a different platform and I can’t help but write on this matter again because it is becoming more common in our society today.
Don’t get me wrong it’s perfectly okay if you’re in support of the arrangement, it’s ok if both parties want it, but let’s be sincere in most cases there’s always one person who wants more, one person who’s letting go of themselves, their beliefs just to accommodate the other, just because they believe they can’t let go, they can’t find someone better and this is WRONG!
Sis, if he says he’s not ready for a relationship and you are, save yourself the pain, the heartbreak and leave. Same goes to the males.
The situationship heartbreak is getting more than the actual relationship heartbreak and I think it hurts more. Mostly because at the end of the day you realize or feel it was a complete waste of your time, you end up investing your emotions on someone who’s not reciprocate those emotions, you end up feeling stupid with yourself, so yeah it probably hurts more than the actual heartbreak.
So my advice to you today is, let your partner know what you want, what your beliefs are, do not settle and end up hurt, don’t settle and end up depreciating your mental health, you deserve better. If your wants aren’t aligning I suggest you both let go and avoid the hurt.
It took me a while to understand and work towards this, I found it difficult to let go because I always thought I might be able to change how he felt, I’ll make him want me more than this and at the end of the day I ended up hurt. I always personalize my write up to make you understand that you aren’t alone there’s always someone who can relate to whatever you’re going through, sad to say I know what it’s like to be in a situationship that deep down I didn’t want but the experience helped me grow, it helped me learn and now it has helped me to help you.
There’s a fine line and ship between friendship and courtship, I hope you’ll be able to identify what YOU want, what ship YOU want to be on and work towards that.
