I didn't know her mother, but I wanted to show her some support so I went through an hour earlier, gave her a little gift with a sympathy card and helped set out some of the food and flower arrangements.
Everyone was in good spirits at the start of it, but the atmosphere moved through so many different levels of emotion as the speeches progressed. It left me feeling A LOT and while I weather these things with grace most of the time, I felt a bit of a f*****g wreck by the end of it all, like I had an emotional hangover. It's interesting how something like this can bring such a range of different people together albeit a sad reason to gather.
There were some people there that had known her mother since they were in school and she was clearly very well loved, respected and appreciated. It made me happy to see that even through all the tears, there was so much love being offered and given to my colleague. I know that she has some rough days ahead of her, but I also saw today just how strong she is and how much resilience and grit she has.
I don't fear death, I think that when you get to my age you see life and death through a different lens than when you are younger. Going to a wake like this was both uplifting and sombre, but reminded me that every day is an opportunity to push myself, expand my knowledge and challenge my limitations, change any negative attitudes that may have crept in along the way and simply enjoy a moment.
So I took myself out and spoiled myself ROTTEN with a waffle and my favourite drink...a glass of cokeacola with a squeeze of lime in it. It was a nice way to reward myself for getting through a rough day and finding the present moment; remembering that I'm still alive, still have a lot of life and love in me and hopefully still have many more years ahead to learn, grow, extend, improve and be better - to myself and to those around me!
Even though it was a difficult day, I'm choosing to turn it around and end it on a high note. I plan on calling in on my colleague every now and then to check how she's doing and see if she needs help with anything or just a shoulder or an ear. I'll avail myself because I understand that it can't be easy under these circumstances and it's going to take her a while to find the even ground again. I know she will but I'll be there for her if she falters, where she just needs someone. We all have moments where we need someone; it's human nature and I'll be happy to help her in times like those. Right now though, in this moment, I'm deciding to help me. I feel a lot better already and know that tomorrow is another opportunity to grab the bull by the horns and ride that sucker to wherever the day takes me.
When last did you spoil yourself either as a reward or simply because you needed it? Let me know in the comments.
The photograph was taken by me
