Okay, first of all, let me just allow you have a really good laugh. Yeah, yeah, get it out of your system. You can roll on the floor if you have to. Done? cool.
“And the award for girlfriend of the year goes to…”
Okay, I really shouldn’t be laughing about this, but come on, this is hilarious!
Honestly, though, It’s not like any of us is one judge, especially me that’s over here making jokes. If I open my mouth and talk about all the stupid shit I’ve done in the name of love, all my potential suitors would be flying out the window first chance they get.
All my potential suitors when they hear the things I’ve carried my hand to go and do in the name of love.
I used to be a love fanatic. Still am. And it comes as no surprise really. I’ve watched every single Disney Princess Original Motion picture there is. My teenage years were filled with me pumping my brain with stupid unrealistic romance movies. And let’s not even talk about the legions of romance books I’ve consumed in my lifetime. What I wouldn’t do for a harlequin novel back then.
All these things in themselves aren’t “bad” per se. What was bad was the unrealistic perspective of love they cultivated. Relationships weren’t just “relationships.” They were a process of finding my “one true love,” my “Prince Charming.” Gosh, I sound so silly. And the lazy part of me was intent on going through this process as few times as possible. Now what this did was make me “fight” for love.
Again, fighting for love isn’t bad. But we live in a world where a minority of people think this way. In fact, once people know you love them enough to want to fight for them, they tend to treat you like shit the more. It’s crazy, cause I’ve never really understood how that equation worked and my juvenile self didn’t know this back then.
I’ve put myself through mental torture in more ways than one, no wonder I was so fucked up.
So I would stay fighting for someone I’m supposed to let go of the first chance I got, and in this process of “fighting,” I did some very stupid fucking shit. Just imagine, I wanted to marry the first guy I dated and I was 16 when I had my first bf. I had just entered Uni. I also lost my V-card at that same time, just to get that out of the way. Though it’s not like any of you still thought I was still a virgin. If you did, that’s really cute but come on, really? Is this baby face that deceiving? I’m freaky freaky o. Just letting you know.
I asked a couple of people to send me the stupidest thing they’ve done in the name of love and these were some of the replies. (Well, just two of them, but who’s counting?) But wait o, you people are having sex inside cinema? How exactly does that work?
I recently just got out of a relationship and it hurt like hell. And unlike the other relationships I’ve been in, I was mature enough to know that this was someone I was genuinely in love with. Still am, if I’m being honest. But, I was also mature enough to know that I couldn’t keep fighting for someone that would probably just get back to hurting me or doing me dirty just because they know I’m genuinely down with them. That’s bullshit.
It’s why all the seemingly “stupid” things we do in the name of love hurt so much because we realize we did it for people who didn’t deserve that much from us.
After the breakup, I was a bit tempted to go all savage revenge mode and be an absolute arse in the next relationship I got into. But, other than the fact that I know that that really isn’t me, I knew deep down that It really wouldn’t solve anything. Cause like, what if the next person I meet is a genuinely good person that I can work things out with? Then I lose them just cause I’m trying to take revenge on the hurt someone else caused me? It makes no sense. I know I didn’t deserve what was done to me so why then would I want to do it to someone else that doesn’t deserve it? That makes me no better, it honestly makes me worse if you really think about it.
If I ever were to do the whole love/relationship thing again I would want it to be as genuine as it can be from my end and if the person I get with can’t respect that, I have enough understanding of my self-worth to walk away head held high. Love shouldn’t make a fool out of you, I know that now.
I wish I didn’t have to learn these lessons the hard way but still I’m glad that I did at least get to learn them.
I haven’t given up on love though; don’t even think I “regret” all the times I’ve been in love. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with going out of your way for someone you love. In my opinion there’s a certain sense of fulfillment that comes from it. I guess now we just have to make sure the people we do it for are the right people. People that love us the way we love them. I still love love and I know there are still genuine people out there. So let’s just say I’m on a love/relationship sabbatical. I don’t think my brain has any more oxytocin to release for now, I’m love-fatigued.
One thing I know for sure though is that, if we don’t settle when it comes to this love thing and consciously align our hearts and mind to the kind of love we’re looking for (cause we can’t all want the same thing,) we will most definitely get it. It may take time but it will surely come to us.
“…and when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it”
The Alchemist.
Well,
Till Next Time,
Emike.
