Some years back I joined an organisation where I had a few guys reporting to me. I had known one of them for sometime outside the work place. Let's call him my friend.
A few months later as I was perfecting the structure of my team, one of them kept saying things to me, some negative, and some concerning my friend. He didn't know I have known my friend. Initially I didn't want to believe him, but it got more intense. Some of the things said were quite scathing. Some I mustered courage to ask my friend .. and he denied all flatly. He found them preposterous and laughed them off, probably assuming I won't also believe them.
Of course I didn't believe all those, or so I thought. But they heavily influenced the way I managed the team, including how I made changes .. some affecting my friend, sadly.
Few years after that I changed roles and went on to lead another team. And that was when I realised that all the things said by that guy, especially against my friend, were all untrue. And guess what? The two are great friends today, and my friend doesn't know what transpired a few years ago. Now I feel guilty about how I treated my friend, choosing to 'trust another!
I learnt how I could have managed the situation better when I had an British boss later. If you went to him to gossip about another, he'll be sure to call that person into the meeting and ask you to repeat what you have just said about him. If indeed what you were saying was true and well-meant it would show.
This rather negative attitude is not limited to just that team I worked with, it cuts across societies, race, and organisations. There are people who for whatever reason feed from and on spreading negative news and information about others. And it may destroy you who uses such gossip, and may ultimately hurt your organisation
Leader, if you have to succeed, be sure to be even and fair in all your dealings with your followers. Be sure you say or do what you can own up to, and beat your chest over.
I learnt.
