I had made plans to write the last concluded prompt but unfortunately, I forgot about it due to my everyday busy life. So, when I saw this week's prompt, I decided to jump on it immediately and not procrastinate because I might end up not writing it.
We have fantasized about writing a letter to our future selves, what about our younger selves? What is that one heartfelt thing you'd tell your younger self? Maybe a "Well done" about something that happened or "Advice" you could have made use of.*
One thing about humans especially when we are at our lowest or at our moment when things aren't going the way we planned, we tend to get overly anxious and worried and also begin to question everything and even ourselves. We even unconsciously get to the stage where we begin to doubt ourselves and downplay our hard work so far which unconsciously makes us lose our self-esteem.
Reasons why I tell people that every day, we wake up fighting our demons, to remain sane and not bring in negative thoughts, so if you don't know how to be nice and don't know what people are going through, don't downplay anyone, don't play on anyone's intelligent because you never know the demons they are fighting. I, protect and guide my sanity with all amount of care and love because I know my breaking point and wouldn't need anyone to tell me that staying around a particular place or person could make me start building myself all over again.
A few days ago, I woke up not feeling myself, and when as I lay on my bed reminiscing about everything that has happened to me this year, and so far my achievement, I realized that I am not been good to myself, I have not had the time to pat myself on my back and tell myself you've done a great job and that is because I have been clouded with so much, been clouded with the things I have not been able to achieve, clouded with the too many challenges in my life not to realize how far I have come, and how far I have crossed through hurdles and still made it out not looking like what I passed through or passing through.
I realized that I have unconsciously and with determination crossed so many hurdles that I never thought I would or imagined it was going to be that easy, not like it is still easy but coming this far says a lot. A little example is my educational aspect, when I started, I was afraid and was almost at the point of deferring but with the voices around me, I decided to keep pushing, and here I am, almost in my final lap, even with all I have been through.
My young self deserves not just a "Well done" pat but an accolade and a standing ovation with a medal for coming this far and still standing while dreaming for more. I am quite sure that my future/older self is yet to start her journey because my younger self is still on her journey to achieving those dreams she had for herself.
So, if I had to write a letter to my Younger Self, I would tell her this.
Dear Me,
Here's A Letter From You.
I have lived almost 3 decades on this planet, and I can vividly say that there are things that I am certain that I have realized that life is beyond the things I thought they were. You've realized over time that there is more to life than what you thought it was about.
You are the best thing that has ever happened and will ever happen to your older self, your enthusiastic and intriguing personality makes your older/future self ready to emerge, just to be able to take a peek at what the future looks like. You are resilient, brilliant, brave, bold, smart, determined, intriguing, and beautiful in all ramifications. You are multi-purposed, multi-abled, and multi-dimensional.
I love that you are you, unapologetic about your authentic self, and don't give a hoot, if people like you or not, you are not sorry about it, you know you are a queen, and you treat yourself as one, with a no care about how others see it or think, you earned that position and you are proud of it.
Just so you know, your older self isn't going to judge you about the mistakes you made, she is glad you made those mistakes because they are part of you as you had your experiences and learned from them. Even though your life has been a rollercoaster of a lot of things that you can not remember and count, you are so strong that you never let the struggles deter and waiver you from moving forward and that is why I am so amazed you blow my mind away with your attitude.
It's funny how your scars, haven't pulled you down, and you are proud of all the scars and bold about it. Am amazed at your confidence and perspective on life, your sturdy mind, and how well it goes with your will.
You make too many mistakes over and over again, give people opportunities, and always make excuses for people even when they don't deserve it, and that is one part of you that makes me love you more. Your approach to life and to people even when they don't deserve your time, makes me feel like flogging you with a stick bug then, I realized that your overall experience at your age, shaped you into this person and I am proud of you.
I hear that you worry a lot even when there is no reason, which constantly affects your health, but I guess this is you, but I wish you could take a step back from being too worried and anxious over every little thing because at the end of the day, you will figure it all out and they will always work out how they were meant to work out.
It's how you so much believe in love and marriage, it's how you are so interested in love and marriage but freak out when the thought of marriage falls at your doorstep, especially the responsibilities that come with it, and more importantly, having kids who are going to MINI YOU. I love that you don't take it as a priority and just looking out more for yourself and me.
You badly want to be wealthy and get to the stage where you don't have to worry about your next meal or worry about buying your necessities or petty things that you love to have for yourself. You want to earn money of your own so you can pay for all the domestic services you don't do and don't intend doing especially cooking.
I know how much you hate cooking, not because you don't know how to cook, and you keep wondering why you are not getting fat, right? That's the reason.
I am proud of you, I am proud of how far you've come and I am more proud that you tuned out great even when you had reasons to do otherwise. I love that you are free-spirited, and always look out for others. I am glad that you consciously and constantly work on yourself to be a better Me.
And yeah, I do know you are afraid of heights and big body waters, I also know that you wish that I would build a duplex or bungalow and not a story building for life in because of your phobia for heights but I am sorry, I would have to do that, and when I do, I would let you peek through because you deserve that honorary.
You turned out great, I love you and always will!
Yours Always,
Evelyn Moses
