I sat at a table replying and reading messages while waiting for my friends to show up. We had been friends since secondary school but life and survival took us away from Jos.....the peaceful town we grew up. Cathy and Fiona have always been my friends since secondary school and we are counting 11 years of friendship. It was not entirely a bed of roses. We had highs(Fiona got married) and lows (losing loved ones) but in all we have survived.
The much awaited reunion had me excitedly staring at the lift waiting for it to pop open and it did. Fiona and Cathy walked out and it felt like a good dream.
We got talking, catching up on good times. Time does fly when you are with good company. In company of good friends and a great meal, Fiona introduced a business deal that could fetch good money. Cathy being the talentless one, was only interested in getting enough pictures for social media. I on the other hand dug in and explored the opportunity.
Fiona knew the basics but I needed an in depth explanation and so I turned to Hayden for help. He was a good friend of Fiona and he had all the answers to my financial liberation.
Hayden was indeed helpful, polite and kind. Did I forget to add dependable? He devoted his time to helping me achieve a successful and hitch free startup (with the rate am going, I think I have disappointed him even though he thinks am doing pretty good).
We went from business to personal real quick. Mssgs, calls and mails flying "upandan" to the point that things got heated. Women are weak emotionally people say and to an extent I agree. I started caring about him. His well being mattered to me and I began thinking he needed protection(what was I thinking sef).
Things went on with no issues and I tried to keep it formal as much as I could do. I kept my dirty thoughts to myself to avoid being branded(after all it's a mans duty to woo me). Abeg am I not just deceiving myself?
Being human, there is a limit to what I can take. Conversations with him stirred emotions in me. Emotions that I felt we're improper. I suppressed my feelings and thoughts and days turned to weeks that have become months. And yes.....u guessed right... This girl has said nothing to him about my fantasy.
Today I hold out hope that maybe one day, he gets to say something that somehow translates into what I feel. And true at times, I search myself for answers to how I feel and the only thought that crosses my mind 'maybe love'.
Image source: pixabay
Be beautiful your own way
