Feeling Nostalgia?
A couple of days ago i was drinking some coffee and listened to music i have saved on my phone and i only played songs that was about missing friends,past love,younger days.
And the person that i was with said seems like you're nostalgic today and i was gonna say i am always feeling "nostalgic" but i never said it.
Thinking about it later though...why?...why am i always feeling so called nostalgic? i know it's not even the right word really for what i am feeling most times.
I keep thinking about my younger life kinda being stuck in it but at times when i think back to those times i don't even recognize it,i go on Facebook just to look at my old friends list but when i do that i am like who the hell are these people? i don't remember some at all and some of them i have a vague memory of but i have no clue how i used to know them.
I even have memories of places and people that i have tried to search for but can't find which drives me crazy because these memories are the strongest.
I didn't use to think about the past too much before 2016 because then i actually did other things,i went outside,i was with friends and i made new memories but after i just shut myself out from the world so i got stuck thinking about the past all the time.
Trying To Move On
Nowadays i still think a lot about it even though things have gotten better and i am trying to work towards the future more,i know it's not healthy to linger on to the past too much but for me it's really difficult partly because of my diagnoses but also because i am still afraid to go out on the town to meet people that i can make new memories with.
It's also part of the reason i rarely make posts (even though i always say i will start posting more) because how the hell am i supposed to make more posts if i don't get out there and talk with people and get new perspectives and information from the outside world...sure i could make posts like Rising Star updates,financial goals,etc. but that's not really me since i want most of what i post to be personal to me and to reach someone's else life something the person who reads can relate to.
This is not to say i never would make a post now and then like updates,etc. because obviously i have done it before but i don't wanna do it all the time you know?
Anyway i will end the post here since i don't wanna bore anyone for too long because i could go on and on about this lol...but i really hope you liked reading it since this was written from my heart!
Have a nice day/evening and stay safe!