Last month, I started a new job offline, and my stress level went up. If it was just running the job and nothing more that wouldn't be a problem for me. But I have to always be present on Hive and in the city because my friends are here and there and letting them go feels weird and completely odd.
Therefore, squeezing in time to do my bit by publishing a post and interacting in the comment section as well as interacting with my friends in the city is sincerely stressful. Sometimes I don't usually have the strength to write anymore by the end of the day. And even on those days, I get some rest, hoping to write something in the morning doesn't usually work at all times.
Even the mere thought of how I am declining and making myself look un-serious when everyone around me is picking up the pace and building their account stresses me out. I wouldn't be too perfect to be able to juggle my job and my account, but I could try. However, my mind says I should try but my body says otherwise.
My job starts at 7:30 am and ends somewhere around 10:00 pm, so you can imagine the less time I have for any other thing. So it's not getting easy and I keep having these thoughts of letting one thing go and sticking to the other. I'll try for a few days and then suddenly miss Hive and my city friends, and run back to everything on chain.
Dealing with this stressful period of my life is not coming in as easy as I thought it would. I had imagined writing in the morning right before I prepare for work or doing it after I return from work. But my thoughts and reality clash every day as I continue to watch myself fail to accomplish any of that goals consistently.
At this point, I am already considering, not trying to write every day but at least a few days a week. Then visiting my city friends a few times a week as well. And finally engaging on Hive a few times a week too. This week I am trying to see how that will go, and if it will help me feel less stress about juggling everything at once.
I am hoping that there will be an improvement on my part and that the fact that I do not have to stress about writing every day will take some weight off my shoulders. And I'll be able to navigate building my account and getting my paycheck without disrupting too much of my experiences.
It's clear that I won't be able to get rid of the things that give me stress. I can't throw away my Hive account for my offline job and at the same time, I can't skip my offline job for Hive. Both of them are important.
I need to write and engage so I can build even a bit of crypto as the world is slowly moving into digitalization. I don't want to miss out on the revolution. So I'll rather have a pie of the cake when everything takes shape than stay on the sidelines watching the rest of the people who embraced blockchain and the concept of decentralization earlier.
Therefore, my Hive account is as important as my offline job. In fact, my Hive account is more important, so I have to do what I have to do to keep it moving, no matter how slow the progression is, I am sure it will be worth it in the end.
PS: all images are mine.