It has all been his fault, actually the annoyance I have at this moment has a name and a surname. We can't spend our lives pretending to be crazy if we don't know what is going on around us, we are humans who feel and suffer, we are not robots. When you have a person by your side that you love with all your being is wonderful to live every day and wake up having her by your side and the truth is that if that person is by your side, but the heart is in another continent, it is preferable not to have anyone.
Sitting that afternoon to talk about a decision that of course hurt me and the dog more than him was an afternoon of mourning, dead love over the cup of coffee and my mouth sprouted words so realistic that I know he realized that all this time I really loved him, I really love him ....
Now if we move away from a person who is hurting us and not physically... it feels like gall in the mouth and vinegar in the bones... it is painful, if it is painful when we love with all our being without leaving love for ourselves, we give everything and we do not receive a drop of anything, it is not worth it, women sometimes we get upset, we go out of our way, for someone who does not give us a precious place.
Getting away from him has cost me more than I thought, I do not want to go to extremes of madness, I do not want to be someone's carpet that can not appreciate a garden with flowers and roses with thorns, I have always said it man who likes roses and not their thorns, well, do not ride there. We can't become perfect, no one is perfect! And I know in my head that phrase comes back to me over and over again.....
91 days have passed and although it sounds irrational, I miss every day that cold presence in bed, I miss that smell of cigarette that he smoked on the sly, the strong, penetrating look, if I would like to hear the voice again, just for a few moments if only to tell me I'm sorry!
What could it cost a person who has two cell phones, to look up a name and press the green button and say just one word to someone... it wouldn't cost me... But I don't do it because I expect just one call, just one word doesn't cost anything.
