Have you ever lost a friendship that meant a lot to you?
My answer:
I have always believed that true friendship is a rare and precious gem, one of the gifts in life that once bestowed, should be appreciated because it's something that doesn't come so cheap, I will tell you real connections don't! I can say this with certainty because I have invested in friendships that turned out so wrong, unfortunately the exact opposite of what I had hoped for. Moving through different phases of life and living in various places, I have lost some friends here and there and some who had also physically moved away themselves. Yes, some friendships fade or fizzle out naturally, yes, no bad intentions, people change, grow apart, or are divided by the diverging paths in life and so what's the big deal about that? For friendships that end like that, it is perfectly okay. What's important is that there are always some valuable lessons to be taken at the end of the day.
The truth is that I don't like having to part ways with anyone on bad terms if I can help it, I would prefer to just let us drift apart when I notice some red flags. Yes, I have lost quite a few people who I thought we could stick together forever, it never worked out. It sucked but if they weren't interested in our friendship or if they didn't want to stay, I never would force them to.
To be honest, having no friends is better than having “some kind” of friends. I have seen the true reality of people, I pay close attention to what people actually say, do and think, It's always at this point that I choose my friends but no matter how careful I have been in that regard, I have been unlucky a few times. But trust me once you are able to find that friend, you are the luckiest one.
There's a beautiful soul I can't ever forget because she refuses to go away, Annette! In this case, life showed how cruel it can turn out to be sometimes.
I had known her for about one year. She seemed so delicate, almost like glass, yet she became my best friend during that time, I can't really explain what drew me to her, maybe it was the sadness that seemed to cling to her as she sat in front of their house, watching people pass by or at times, lost in deep thought, or maybe it was her frail, delicate nature.
It was in my second year in the university that we first met, they moved into my neighbourhood, actually the next compound to mine when I lived off-campus. She was eighteen but appeared so fragile and would most times sit in their balcony. It was only a dwarf fence that separated my house from theirs and It broke my heart to see her all by herself. Her mother was often at work and somehow I sensed something was wrong. So one day, I called out to her and she was surprised I knew her name, I have heard her Mom call out to her severally.
She accepted me wholeheartedly and from that day, our friendship blossomed. I could see she treasured my company a lot, by the light in her eyes and her smiles which always battled with an underlying sadness. We got along so well that I wanted to know so many things about her but I respected her code of silence and waited for a day when she would be comfortable enough to let the pain all out....of course I saw the pain in her eyes, beyond the smiles, I saw the struggle to stay hopeful and happy. My heart always went out to her. We shared movies we had watched, she loved the stories of my life in the village and all the folktales my Grandma told me. Our bond grew stronger by the day!
One day, I returned from the holidays, eager to see her again. In my rush, I dropped my bag and quickly climbed the low fence to talk to her but she wasn't there. Instead, a young woman who I later got to know as the sister, was sitting on "her" chair in the balcony, so I asked her where Annette was and her response shook me to my core.
She had died a week earlier and had been buried, she had a hole in the heart and had suffered from heart failure, she said. I stood transfixed, trying to grapple with the news. Thirty years ago, congenital heart defects were a fatal diagnosis, but better treatments, thanks to scientific advancements, have transformed it into a condition that can be monitored and managed, even into adulthood...
But for Annette, those advancements came too late!
I didnt even know what i was supposed to think or feel at the time. For some reason, I didnt cry, I could hear my heart racing around in pain. I was just confused, I had only been gone three weeks. It couldn't be true, I had brought coconuts and cassava flakes which she loved so much, we didn't say goodbye, only "see you in a few weeks" and she had told me how much she was going to miss me. So what's this?
"It took me several months to unpack all of my emotions that I had pushed to the back of my head and ignored. I got over it eventually, albeit very slowly.
Though she didn't stay for long, I truly believe that I entered into her life for very special reasons, one of which was to make her last days happy and fun-filled.
"Annette didn't want dark shadows hovering over this friendship she treasured so much, she didn't want you to know about her health condition". Her sister had said to me.
She was such a brave little girl!
"The wounds did heal over time. What of the scars?
In this case, we did not go our different ways, we did not have a fallout or anything, but the separation by death left me devastated. I missed my friend Annette and the good times we had together. I still have fond memories of her and she continues to occupy a special place in my heart. It won't just go away!
I understand that life is basically a series of losses. Each loss gives me a little grain of sadness but I truly believe that friends come into our lives when we least expect them and for very special reasons.
This is in response to an initiative of 
Here's the link
In a year from now you’ll have a legitimate memoir that you can pass along to future generations of your family. But what I really hope is it provides a valuable glimpse into your inner self.
Thank you
I am 