You will find three places where you can live your life:
In The Past
People who have regrets and are "stuck" pondering over things that cannot be corrected often experience depression. Some therapists believe anger turned back to the inside becomes depression. So, when you incorporate past wounds with anger but pretend that everything is okay, you are setting yourself up for trouble! It is like trying to hold a beach beneath water. You put your energy into trying to hold it down but that won't last for very long. You can try to hide your emotions but when they pop up, everyone including you will likely be surprised by their intensity.
In The Future
Fear, control, perfectionism, worry and anxiety are all relatives. Sometimes people concentrate on what hasn't even took place yet. Their fear triggers them to want to control things and often leads to perfectionism, worry and/or anxiety. "What if...?" is a frequent phrase employed by those who tend to give attention to the future.
In The Present
Sometimes today is filled with boredom and loneliness. Sometimes it seems stressful and challenging. The simplest way to deal with the present, is to have your entire wits about who you are so as to choose interesting ways to address what lies ahead of you. As soon as your thoughts, feelings and behaviours are devoted to the past or the future, you are robbing today! You are unable to reach your potential and make smart choices if you are trying to resolve issues from the past or predict the future.
Over the years I have had lots of trouble and realize that it happened frequently because I had difficulty living in the present. Some people give attention to "what should have happened" or "what should happen" rather than on "what is happening". They pin the consequence on others for slights that occurred decades ago and unfortunately, they are usually the only one who remembers this. They have difficulty forgiving others or themselves and this prevents them from letting go and moving forward in a healthy manner.
Others think so much about all the things that "might" happen in the future that they will be unable to enjoy what is going on at present. They expect the worst from family members, the next thunderstorm, government and a myriad of things that they just only are not able to control but could eventually never happen.
So how can you live in the present when your mind reverts to past injustices or future threats?
• Create a peaceful environment. Organize your life in a way that incorporates positive benefits such as calm music, pleasurable activities and healthy food.
• Protect yourself from toxic triggers. Avoid broadcast channels that can overwhelm you with negative news. Maintain good boundaries with people who are draining you. Don't let their turmoil become your crisis. Consider breaks from the outside world by not always answering your phone or having your door wide open because you need more time for yourself.
• Say what you need (of course not what you don't want). Write and practice using affirmations.
• Seek a specialist to guide you on the right track!