hey! thats a great question u ask:

guess my question is what if someone is invading your country and you practise nvc and they completely ignore you and laugh at you being weak and continue to invade. What does one do?

before i answer this.. i notice you said that they laugh at you for being weak.. i wonder what makes you think that practicing NVC is a kind of weakness. I see it as quite the opposite.. that is to say.. when someones attacks you verbally we can respond defensively,.. Often times when we proceed down this route we end up getting further attacked and open ourselves to more damage. We are powerless because we actually take what people say to heart.. instead of really hearing what they are trying to say.. As marshall puts it, it is a tragic expression of their neeeds.. So, what is powerful to me is being able to disarm someone in a matter of seconds, with no care or fear about their response..

NOW.. of course this all applies to what ill call NORMAL circumstances..not violent war... u have also asked about invaders. which is of course an extreme and difficult question as it depends on SO many things.. therefore ill answer it like this..

NVC is a way of life, and not something we apply to a situation as it arises. It is a different way of thinking, based on empathy and natural giving. So in this case of war i would have to say that this would be the responsibility of our government and not us of course.. If a government was practicing NVC i dont believe they would be a situation of having to defend themselves.. because those that live by NVC KEEP gifting others the very special gift of being able to LISTEN and understand the needs of their neighbours..

I am also anti violence.. BUT.. also i think there are times when violence may be necessary.. to defend ones lives for example. when someone is running at you with a gun and clearly intends to kill you.. best you RUN away.. or if necessary fight for your life..

I dont think NVC precludes this behaviour.. and of course as i said .. i believe those who truly practice NVC as a way of life will have SO many friends that no one would even want to harm them.. let us not underestimate the power of friendship! :)

so one final word or two on the comment u made:

I am still 100 percent glad I made that post I felt and still feel such relief to have aired things that I experienced that i had been afraid to say.

I think this is a great comment to respond to so that i can try to explain what is the real essence of NVC.. you see, NVC is a new paradigm way of speaking, listening, and relating to each other. THings that are THIS different take time to really understand.. because our brains have to literally rewire themselves in order to do so.

This process is sped up dramatically when we are able to practice it and see it work. When we witness this, and experience the kind of joy that we get from helping another by really taking the time to listen to what they are TRYING to say, it starts to sink it much better.. and we forge very deep and positive relationships..

That is to say, there is NO BLAME.. When we hear someone say we are damaged.. or WHAT WE ARE, we have our giraffe ears on. That means to say, we hear their words as we would a small child. They do not hurt us, and we hear what they are really trying to say.

There are SO many ways to respond to that kind of comment.. but when we take it to heart then we get upset and the game of who is right continues. THat game is irrelevant in NVC. We simply ignore it. its a very sad game where no one wins. SO once we get used to not caring about these traggic expressions of a feeling or need, we can start to help them and dig deeper.. WE dont need to give up.. we just have to fund the golden nugget.

Ok, i hope that helps to explain a little bit what NVC is..
i think if you want to play with this and understand it better you really have to try one of the exercises in my workshop.. Its only when we try it out, and see how it goes that we can start to EXPERIENCE It as a feeling.. and a very special feeling it is too..

natural giving .. is the best!! and not easy to really understand... <3