The family I helped create with a woman named Shantra Crawford, was destroyed in 2015, after an above normal wage earning year as a on-call union stagehand. I had made over 80g in 2014 and an average of 50g a year otherwise, which allowed my kids mother to stay at home with our 2 sons, William and Oliver Kahrs for approximately 4 years.
There were many factors involved with how our family was torn apart. The main one was insecurity by the mother of my children. She was a former prostitute with 4 warrants for her arrest in 3 states that prevented her from getting a job. My job, income and belief in her as a person allowed her to leave that life as a prostitute behind her. She wanted to have a better life that her family wasn't going to help her have other than trying to throw her in jail.
Long story short, she showed me that she was ready for help by not hooking anymore and following my advice for her health and accomplishing goals we set for her. After showing me that she was ready to stop hooking and start rebuilding her life, I was impressed and actually wanted to help even more so as I became attracted to her. I saw a person who wanted to do better and take care of herself. It was very attractive to me seeing a person following my advice and trying as hard as she did to change her life. For example she was 240 lbs when I met her through a mutual acquaintance but through my advice that she followed she lost 60+lbs in a matter of months.
I'll admit my job as a on-call union stagehand did not provide a stable home life in regards to my schedule not being consistent. I also will admit I was in Love with having children and not her. I loved her as person and the potential she had as a mother. I also loved how she was big boned and tall, a genetic lottery for my sons to be tall and strong. I assumed her background in prostitution would help her that much more in being a mother. I was so wrong.
The trauma was too much for her, especially having experienced a pimp that was considered to be the most violent and disrespected pimp in the game whose name was C-Note and was featured in the documentary American Pimp. Come to find out he would kill anyone that didn't pay her or brutally disable them.
Unfortunately, the trauma of having a abusive drug addicted mother who raised her with random abusive men that lead her to prostitution at the age of 16 was too much for her to deal with along with having a famous but violent pimp. I became her whipping boy after realizing that being a stay at home mother was not what she wanted. She wanted to be a full time wage earner and not a mother. She realized this after our second son Oliver.
It was never enough for her. My job, as well paying as it was, left her with too much idol time and money to squander away. She would spend all of the money I made at whole foods, leaving us behind on bills each month. The stress of not making her own money and staying at home with our young boys with no family support really left her with nothing but idol time to reflect on her traumatic life as a prostitute and the power she got from that life via the money she made. As a result, she felt powerless with no income, a family that wanted her locked up and a father of her children that started to put rules on the money (like not spending 400 dollars a week a wholefoods).
Her outbursts were a bit much. From slamming her head through walls to attacking me with our sons in her arms to running around the neighborhood in her pajamas, I was not in a good situation as she refused to seek therapy. I even had witnesses that were roommates to this madness. She even would stand behind my car as I was trying to go to work with our children in her arms... All of this was because I wanted her to stop spending all of our money at wholefoods and ironically enough after my 2014 W2s came in showing I made 80g.
This all set the stage for me to have my life absolutely torn apart because I was so blinded by aimlessly helping people and having baby fever. I should have had a better understanding of having children out of wedlock, not having God as the foundation in our relationship and the repercussions as a result.
This all lead to the most wacky but typical family court experience that most men in America could have told me I would have experienced. In fact I was warned about so much that lead me to not getting married to her in the first place.
