I was restrained from doing any hard work since childhood. The Doctor had advised you to stay away from stress, was what I was told. Gradually, I started to develop this habit of not wanting to do anything and I never realized how much effect it could cause me in the future. I suffered from a pile while I was a child, it was severe. Even though I should have worked with my peers, I was told never to work, all the chores were done by my younger and older siblings. I could sleep all day and still feel like I'm too occupied to do anything. There are a lot of things I hope to learn, but my inner mind keeps telling me I'm busy even when I'm doing nothing. This brain that convinces my system to believe I'm busy has been from my childhood programming and has taken the whole of me.
A little sleep, a little rest is what I demand each time the thought of working crosses my mind. The thought of working scares me even if it's something I can do, all these affected me most in my adolescence. Now I'm 29 and still lazy, maybe not as lazy as I was when I was growing up because adulthood demanded that I work for myself if I needed anything. This was the part of adulthood I wasn't told, "that, I needed to work to earn whatever I needed, and it became a struggle trying to work even though I avoid hard and heavy jobs which always have an affect on me.
There are a lot of things I can't do and learning them in adulthood seems almost impossible. I just feel the offline jobs aren't for me, like I'm not strong enough to handle them. I love to sleep, I don't bother to set an alarm in the morning, it's either I wouldn't hear it ring or would snooze it for another time. A part of me tells me I can't work in an office where workers are expected to arrive by 8:00am, I do need an assistant to always wake me every morning. But I've been working on becoming industrious since I realized no one cared much about me in my adulthood.
This realization that " no one would feed me when I'm married" is enough motivation to make me grow out of laziness, and I started to do that by engaging in online activities. Yes, I know I'm lazy, or maybe I was lazy and doing hard tasks would affect my health. I also know waking up very early is a problem for me, however, the online space seems very perfect for me and I've been trying hard to ensure my hard work counts here.
