I was in a relationship a few years ago with a girl who believed transparency was the key to sustain a relationship. There was nothing wrong with it at first until she started spilling secrets about what she has done and done and the truth scared me. She was so free to discuss everything that at one point all I saw were red flags and a lady who talks too much. I'm not saying transparency isn't good, but everything has a limit especially when it has to do with a past no one wants to associate with. I tried to cope but each day I get new stories or events that happened on that date adding up to what I had pictured her to be.
Someone once said, "Sometimes it's the secret that keeps things going" and I agree with it to some extent. There are certain things I tell my woman, mostly 80% of everything, but there are 20% of things I prefer not to say, and it's that 20% which is hidden that keeps things going. They're things she may never find out. It may lose her trust for me even though they're in the past. We are humans, we tend to judge people sometimes by their past, not because we don't trust them, but because we define people based on what they've once done.
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I don't support 100% transparency, nor do I agree with Privacy. I think a balance is better. I've heard of couples who had a divorce while trying to be transparent. Sometimes we may not be able to handle the truth we demand. There are certain things that demand transparency, like where we are going, where we are, what we did, our plans, how we feel, who we hang out with, but there are also certain things that require privacy, like our past, certain dealings with the opposite sex(not unfaithfulness), and every financial records.
However, it all depends on our partner's ability to handle the truth, whether she misinterprets actions or not and whether they have a large heart to forgive and forget certain things. If they are able to handle the truth and not misjudge, then it's good to be transparent, it would only help her/him get to know you better(things you can do and not do and the reasons why you do them) but if it's the other way, one should keep private what is meant to be private, because sometimes it's the secret that keeps the love going.
