Prioritizing myself was something I had to learn the hard way. All my life I was the kind of guy who put people first, I could trade my happiness as long as the other person was happy, somehow I believed I could manage myself until I realized the damage it was doing to me. I still haven't learned how well to prioritize myself, but there has been a significant change from the past years.
I grew up believing it was my duty to ensure everyone around me is good. How I developed that mindset was something I can't tell. I went the extra mile to ensure everyone was happy even though it cost me my own happiness. Though I am the second-born child, I was always at the forefront of handling responsibilities until I realized the harm I was doing to myself and how my effort was never appreciated, instead it was seen as a platform to make their burdens mine and mine mine alone. The daily realization was the indicator for a change and the fact that no one was actually my responsibility except myself that I was neglecting all the time while acting strong but draining everything that should make me happy.
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After I learned to prioritize myself, I noticed how happier I was. People saw me differently even though it took a long time to accept this other side of me. It was no longer what they tagged me to be, but who I present to them that I was. I no longer struggle to be myself , it was clearly "me first" then others except in a few cases where prioritizing myself and need would seem inappropriate. Even though I lost some friends, I was able to have the genuine one's stick around-and it helped me realize that some people who stay around are only there for their benefits.
Mentally I was free, no burden on me to carry. Prioritizing myself was just the ability to say "Yes, or No" to what's convenient and inconvenient to me. But once we come first, that's when we experience true freedom. I'm still in the process of learning to prioritize myself, because at some point, my old self still surfaces.
