Hello people!
I'm back here on the #SilverBloggers community to reflect on the past and present, and how it is time itself that changes us, we evolve and when faced with the same situation we are no longer the same. We may realize, and sometimes even surprise ourselves, that we are faced with an improved version of ourselves, or we have simply learned, and we have a different vision...
That's what happened to me when I returned to the University during this academic year, after many years... I already told a little about my decision in other posts in this community, for example here: My First Day (Again): back to the student life
And now I'll tell you how everything is going in the first few months.
I have titled this post: "Old New Feelings?" Because that's the feeling I've had during this time of classes, assignments, presentations, studying and finally exams. On the one hand, I've remembered old times, when I studied a lot, there was a lot to study and I made a lot of effort. Now it seemed like it would be the same, a lot of effort, a lot of nerves until the days of the final exams.
But it hasn't been the same, we always have a bit of nerves but everything has been much calmer. It's true that I sincerely believe that the level of demand is somewhat lower, it may also be influenced by the type of degree, Law is not the same as Languages... but also now in these times professors ask for more continuous evaluation during the lessons, small tests and assignments, so when we get to the exams, we already know a lot and there is less to study.
So after two particularly hard years of work, always sitting in front of the computer, even on weekends and summers. Being there just studying, being able to read my notes on the terrace in the sun, has been almost like a holiday period. I only had to go there on the day I had an exam and also because they validated a couple of subjects, I had fewer exams to take, in the end only three. And they have gone very well!
I explain: exams in Spain are scored up to 10 points, which is the highest possible score, so in the three exams I had to take I got very good results, even though I was not very confident in some compulsory subjects that have nothing to do with Italian language and literature and Spanish language, but I had to do it.
Now again I am starting new subjects, in the second part of this year course, with other demands and challenges, some still general but now also finally others more specific, it is like starting the course again until the exams that will be at the end of May, I also hope to learn new things and have good news.
This has made me reflect... It does not matter how many years pass, if you have motivation and interest, the brain continues to work, you are still you, I am still that studious girl who got good marks in the exams. I have mentally visualized good results and I have achieved them, I feel good, as if I have recovered a part of me lost in time.
BUT, at the same time, I look at myself and I have realized that now I have enjoyed the process much more, the stress has been almost non-existent, I had enough time and I was calm. I was calm, having some insecurity about returning to the world of being a student and having some confidence in knowing that I could do it, and that I already had experience and a background that allows me to face these moments well.
These are old feelings from before, from many years ago, but they are also new feelings, feeling that I am more in control, that I do not get as nervous, but that I feel capable now more than ever perhaps. Feelings, it does not matter if they are old or new, that make me feel that I am on the right path, the one that I should perhaps have taken before and that due to issues and decisions in life, I put aside. Perhaps recovering the right place produces this feeling of plenitude, of enjoying the present as if it were a gift, because I value more the power of having had a second new opportunity to relive all this.
And I've also been able to have some extra personal time for myself, to sit under the winter sun without thinking about too many things, without having to sit in front of the computer for so many hours because of a poorly paid job, to be able to have more conversations with more people from other places and ages, and to be able to sleep even a little more. A stress relief at the beginning of a new exciting period of life.
Now we have to feel again, to discover ourselves even more, and how everything will continue this month and the following ones...
