I do not consider myself to be a romantic. That being said I am confident there is a little bit of this and a little bit of that in all but a minuscule number of genuine/authentic human beings. In my opinion even psychopathy is influenced by a myriad of core human emotions, however the ability of your average human, even those in the psychiatric/mental health profession, to appreciate the motivations and processes of a psychopath's private world is challenging at best. But this post is not about psychopaths or my conceptual status of anything, it is about passing along a gift that was passed to me via inspiration during a point in time when darkness ruled for days on end.
As I look back it is clear to me that I had been dwelling in the negative for at least several weeks and had allowed darkness to prevail in almost every thought. I looked at the past and saw darkness, looked at the present and saw darkness, looked at the future and saw darkness. I was unable to accept responsibility for where I was. This period was quite similar to many others before and since but for intensity.
While driving one of the highways in America sometime during 2002, I cannot recall which highway or the exact date, I realized that I had been manufacturing the condition that I was currently experiencing. I also remembered effort equals results, and that it would take effort on my part to break out of my dangerously low slump. In that same moment I said "stop", and made a choice to move in the opposite direction of thought and perception. A quiet intervention took place during the coming moments, I picked up a pencil and note pad, and while driving along one of the highways of America, wrote the following:
Dance Of Grace
Standing back to back
Eyes closed, a smile upon our face
In a world of our own
With fingers interlaced
In these moments of peaceful co-existence
Hearts embraced
Anticipating the sounds of his flute
While dreaming the dance of grace
Drifting in waves of emotion
With fingers interlaced
In that precious moment
Just before the dance of grace
Swaying gently, touching softly
Slowly moving in one place
In a world of our own
Begin the dance of grace
Notes pleasing to our senses
Bringing pleasures never before known
Arms embraced in loving wonders
And of other realms unknown
Bringing close, desires of more
Seeking pleasures of the Soul
Forever live within this place
Forever dance the dance of grace
©Douglass Jungquist 2004
When the writing was over I did not cry like a baby but I cried. My tears were of gratitude, not sorrow, I view them as a means to release that which I no longer wanted to hold onto. And I liked it, I liked it a lot. I care very much about those weeks of discomfort leading to that moment of recovery and asked myself if I experienced one to experience the other? I do not have an answer to that question even today. I want the answer because if so, I think I would prefer finding what was found that day, another way. The human experience can be baffling eh! Best.
