The most important in a relationship is friendship not sex. Sex is not a display of love as some think. Most young guys in a relationship will tell their lady counterpart, if you know you truly loves me, then show this by giving me your body. Sex is only useful in marriage. Sex seal the union of husband and wife with a covenant. It joins them together as one body. It renews their covenant every time they have sex. How can you become one body with several men? How can you become one body with the one you didn't intend marrying? How many people are you entering marital covenant with? The bible see other people you slept with, that are not your spouse as harlots.
Know ye not that your bodies are the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them the members of an harlot? God forbid.
1 Corinthians:6:15
What? know ye not that he which is joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh.
1 Corinthians:6:16
On the other hand, there is deep understanding in friendship. Friendship allow for disagreement, show of love and also display of character. Any relationship void of friendship cannot stand.
Marital relationship that does not encourage friendship will collapse in the long run! Someone said: "marry your friend or befriend your spouse, if not,you can't have a blissful home!" This is so true.
A lady wrote me recently about her marriage. Her 6 months marriage is collapsing. Her husband want to get married to another lady and he is really planning towards it! Six months wedding? Immediately I read her messages, I knew she married a stranger. Nothing can break a marriage faster than marrying a stranger. Now I ask my counselle: "where did you meet this man?" she said they met at their joint service at church. This means that they attend same church but different parish. I asked again,"Did your pastor knows about this relationship from the beginning?" she said "yes, he even confimed the relationship through prayers".
Did you visit him at home? No ma!
Did you visit him at work? No ma!
Did he visit you at home before? No ma! We always meet at the joint service. He only came to my place during the introduction. Did you see any lady with him before? No ma! I have never visited him!
How many months courtship did you have? She said "1 year!" It will interest you to know that the brother is a choir member. "Are you sure of his salvation?" I said, "I think he is a pretending Christian" said the wife.
If I go on and on, people! you will meet more disappointment in the questioning. But what I want to tell you here is that you can't know someone except he is your friend. Let her be your mother, you must be her friend to know her! They were never friends, they were strangers to one another. Smiles! I have to smile for this one I want to write, oh yes! If you have never seen the greatest home where people pretend, go to the church.
Every believer pretend one way or the other at church. You can't know anyone at church except outside church. We are all angels at church! No one gets angry, no one is rude, no one is dirty, and those that are doing bad at church does that secretly. Meeting at church does not solve the problem of marriage. You have work to do! You must walk together, talk together, sometimes agree and disagree. Visit one another. That is why I always shout it, make sure the owner of the heart leads you really! He knows the personality of everyone. He can't mislead you! Never!
Sex in a relationship outside marriage covers your thinking. Especially in a lady's life. When you allow sex, all your thinking is just "marry me" It is when you get married to him, that you will find out that you married emptiness. Sex does not allow for true friendship. When you meet the one you want to marry allow good friendship.
An old classmate sought my counsel about his marriage, and I asked him after telling me his problems "don't you talk during courtship? He said "No, there was nothing to talk about really, we were not all that close" can you hear that? I asked him, "why did you choose to marry her?" he said "I promised her marriage before going to school and I didn't love to disappoint her, despite I found out later that we were not all that compatible"
People! Marriage is deep! Don't just enter it anyhow, you may get wounded!
Be sure you know what you are doing! Marry your friend, not a stranger! If a relationship is not based on good friendship, please stop. If it is based on sex, please stop!
God will give you grace to make it till the end in the mighty name of Jesus.
