Today I feel like I am being repaid for what I have done so far, bad deeds in the form of a big sin that drowns in a very deep regret. Today I feel like the worst person in the world. Maybe this is my fate.
I realized that in the last few years I had been negligent, especially negligent about my duty as His servant, I was too far lost to know the way to return.
God, all the givers of beautiful hope, I'm sure even though I'm in a bad shape that until today I don't meet the end, still love me as His servant, sure it's not too late, because Allah SWT sees me now, knows all my heart and mind.
God, I am your servant, what I feel today is part of my disgraceful behavior that I've been doing.
But God, I need Your help, I need Your mercy. Give me your help and mercy, Rabbi.
You know God,