(Image generated on imgflip)
What's your dream? If it involves not spending money, getting fed like a medieval king, being complimented on your cute round belly, as well as getting hugs, cuddles, and kisses, read on.
We should aspire to be toddlers. It is a carefree life that makes normally frowned-upon situations, socially acceptable. Here are some ways that toddlers invoke jealousy:
Nap whenever you want to, and it is encouraged that you nap well. You can of course kick your poor mom and dad aside, mostly by sleeping perpendicular to them so you can headbutt your dad while kicking your mom's rib cage.
(image generated on imgflip)
Eat whatever they want (even if it's not edible), have a cute pot belly, and are not body shamed by anyone. They never have to go to the gym, and if clothes don't fit, they just get new ones. Bonus: Someone runs around them trying to feed them.
Clothes are optional: A toddler running around in their diaper is endearing but an adult running around in a diaper is endangering.
Crying is socially acceptable: For faster delivery of milk, food, and toys, babies can just start wailing to put their serfs into action. They can cry anywhere, anytime, regardless of the consequences.
They are fast: Forget all those comic book characters, there is nothing faster than a toddler who catches the front door of the house ajar. They can crawl, walk, glide, and thwart you at every possible turn.
They are not expected to "people": Toddlers do not like strangers and can cry when introduced to a person they don't like. The same is frowned upon for adults. They can also walk away from people and conversations with an awe-inspiring ease.
Toddlers' skin and hair are soft; what are they even going to do with such perfect pores? Apart from liberally applying their food to their faces, they don't have to follow any strange beauty regimens.
