Hello everyone, this week's questions had two different feels, one with a fun energetic side and the other with a sad think about life side. I had to go with the latter because it is something I experience constantly no matter how much I try to be open and social.
People crave connection. It's no easy task to just stay and be by yourself. Your body pushes you, to connect, to be in contact with humansbecause the truth is no one wants to be alone.
There are lots of songs dedicated to loneliness. Why is this?
It's because loneliness resonates round the world.
Inem Siar said;
If all the lonely people spoke
To all the other lonely folk
There’d be no lonely people
If only we could shine like stars
To find each other in the dark
There'd be no lonely people
There are so many of us in the world, yes I'm one of those people that feel lonely and I wonder why do I feel the way I feel.
I can be surrounded by people yet still feel like I'm all by myself.
I listened to Avicii and Rita Ora when they said;
Let's be lonely together
A little less lonely together
Loneliness is something I experience so I will use myself as a perfect example. Many of us live our lives behind our screens, whether it's watching people or being watched.
I do the watching, scrolling through pictures, I see it.The perfect image created on social media, from where I sit I don't know what really happens behind that smile but I look at it and think, "Wow this people are so happy".
I look and only see their best moments, creating a skewed version of reality. I feel disconnected because in my head I can never measure up to them.
Here's a question we need to ask ourselves, are we emotionally intelligent?
Emotional intelligence involves the ability to recognize, understand, and regulate one’s own emotions, as well as the emotions of others.
Inorder to connect to people you have to know how to actually connect emotionally. You can't just wake up, expect to find connection and expect it to be all about you. Most people do not understand this but it's understandable because it's in human nature to be selfish. Always put yourself first.
Then there's the issue of vulnerability. Real connection requires a level of vulnerability, it is expected that inorder for you to make a real connection, you have to open yourself to the other person.
You have to place yourself in a situation where you can be hurt or even broken.
You ask yourself, how do I do it or rather why should I do it?.
You have to do it because being alone can sometimes feel like the most terrible thing.
You see others laughing and the only thing that you can do is sit on the sidelines and watch. It is very sad.
Real connection is what a lot of people want. So if everyone wants it, why is it then so difficult to find?
We are scared, that's my answer.
Scared that we won't measure up to the people we look up to.
Scared that these people will forever look past us forever leaving us in the shadows.
Scared that we will get hurt if we open up to people that could turn out to be the best thing that happens to us.
I guard my heart with everything I've got. I cannot deal with hurt. People will say you'll feel better after some time, but in those few moments I could end up broken beyond repair.
So some of us prefer to crave real connection but not do anything about it because it's safer in the lonely bubble we are in.
In there there's no fear of judgement or rejection and perhaps this is why the lonely people can't find each other.