But what else can I do? I'm not the only one suffering, and by all accounts, there's many worse than me. We talk about it amongst ourselves, but we can't believe that in 2023

True you're not the only one... At 40 I finally found out, that I have Borderline PD. Combine that with peri-meno, midlife crisis, social isolation, social anxiety, friends abandoning me because of ME, then you have one person thinking there's only one way out.. One way to end all this suffering. Everyday it's the only thing I can think of. Because not everyone can tackle LIFE.

Pet really helps I agree. It's the only thing that keeps me from traveling or moving somewhere else again... Or ending this all. Maybe one day I'm gonna have to give it up to save myself...