Happiness and freedom begin with a clear understanding of one principle. Some things are within your control. And some things are not. - Epictetus
To be honest I don't have any motivation to craft a post lately due to my busy work schedule but I know that journaling has been part of my "Stoic routine". I try to journal my thoughts about the mobsters, coveeeed, vaxxx, and even my own insanity the old-school Stoic way but my handwriting sucks. I thought I needed that off screen time but writing by hand however fulfilling is so tiring. Maybe because I'm not used to it. Or maybe because it's such a sore to see my handwriting ruin a beautiful paper.
I don't have the best penmanship ever and I've known this since grade school. I had been aware of the ugliness of it especially when all the kids and teachers kept on rubbing it in my face. Now there goes my insecurity. I also have the ugliest signature and I didn't even know why I try to do cursive on my initials.
Now that I'm an adult, it's all too late to change my signature and even my own handwriting. So if ever I become a popular rockstar, I won't be able to sign autographs because it is just embarrassing. Good thing I won't be a popular rockstar. Good thing I'm much better typing my thoughts so forget about writing an actual journal the Stoic way. So here I am now typing my life away my way.
Anyway, the reason I say that I might be a Stoic is because I've created some strict structure and order in my life over the last couple of years that it would have seemed like I'm "punishing myself". I know Stoicism teaches about discipline, acceptance of anything beyond our control, and mental toughness so subconsciously I might have been already practicing Stoic values. And yet, I'm not gonna label myself as a cool Stoic chic as I haven't read any of Marcus Aurelius or Seneca's books. It's like using the word "Orwellian" in your post when you haven't actually read 1984. Or wearing a Mayhem T-shirt when you don't even know who Euronymous is. Reading random quotes or watching Youtube videos about Stoicism won't make me legit. Most of the time I just talk as if I know things. So I guess I'm just a poser Stoic or a would-be Stoic, or a wannabe Stoic - whatever you wanna call me.
I mean the point here is that I just need some guiding principle in life. One that will make me a mentally tough person especially in this literal global pandemic where we are literally trapped in one place. I read somewhere that prisoners in the old times use Stoicism to cope. Aren't we all prisoners desperately needing some kind of religion, new age booboo, or philosophy in order to bear the harshness of the modern times?
Routines keep me going and help me stay motivated. And if I don't have structure, I will just drown in my own freedom. Okay so that one is easy to follow but other Stoic teachings go against my nature. One is "letting go of control" (don't worry I might be diabolic but I'm not a control freak). As someone who likes to have everything in perfect order, my world falls apart when things don't go my way. I now I sound like a spoiled brat there but you know, it's just me here. I try to accomplish goals I set my mind into and live life on my own terms. So imagine my anxiety when things don't turn out as expected. So I guess the Stoic teaching of letting go whatever that is not within your control will help me accept the reality of things. Because no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, there will be times when things just won't work. The universe won't always be in my favor. People will continue to suck and things will crumble. The most important Stoic principle I need to apply in my life is to not worry about those anymore and just do the right moral thing for myself. And accept the reality as it is and as they come.
I know there are also many flaws to this philosophy because how can you just accept things right? How can you just accept injustice and all the sucky people and all the sucky things they do to other people? Those things are way beyond my control and I can only control myself and my own thoughts. I'm not here to draw sword and fight y'all - this is very very tiring. I've been there and I won't go back. I'm old. People are responsible for their own lives. I'm out.
If things in my life work out as planned then I will be pleasantly surprised and grateful, the Stoic way. And if they don't, then maybe it's time to accept things especially if they are bound to happen anyway. And no, this is not a hopeless resignation, it's just refocusing my energy on things that are within my control.
Maskless, vaxxless, enjoying the greenery around. And diabolical as ever!