This morning I checked Facebook to see updates about the flood. The first thing I saw was this:
Just a heads up..watch for dead trees along the river and roads. A HUGE tree fell into our river/street. Thank heavens no one was hurt!😨
So far, I have only gotten emotional a couple of times about the flood. When i learned a pregnant friend-of-a-friend has lost her home, and another time when i saw how overloaded and overwhelmed the volunteers organizing the sandbagging efforts were, like on the third day. I am trying not to let myself get emotional about it because it seems like it would just drag me down to a place I dont want to go. The community pulling together to help each other is actually pretty uplifting, and the work is actually enjoyable to me, despite the circumstances.
(a montana tree..)
This message about dead trees now falling over, is kind of getting to me. I think its because I can see how long of a process this is all going to be, nature is doing its thing, and its not done yet. And really pray no one gets hurt. With this flood we have been lucky because while it is too fast for people to really save many of their belongings, or their homes sometimes, it is slow enough that they have time to get away, and get out without harm to themselves. And I am not sure that all the homes effected are "destroyed" right now, so hopefully many can be cleaned out and just fine later again. That I am thankful for.
But the news of trees falling.. well to me that means the ground is just so saturated over there, and its going to be more dangerous, for a longer time, and truly, it makes me wonder what other areas next to our beautiful river are going to become dangerous too, with falling trees?
And the part of me that becomes very sad is the part of me that has been waiting since last JULY for improved weather. Because this is what my town looked like from July through October last year
We had the worst wildfires in 100 years.
And now this is the worst flood in 100 years.
And I hate to feel sorry for us, or get into that like, self pitying mode! Cuz that is just not useful right now. But I am just having a moment. We can still go outside and enjoy the weather. .. but the river is literally my most favorite place to be in this town, in the summer. Next to the river, in the river, floating on the river, standing on a bridge looking at the river. Its tranquil, idyllic, just serene. They are saying the flood conditions will likely last till early July. We still have snow on the mountains. So there's still more water that has to come down.
Maybe there wont be a bad fire season this year. But if there is, then that would mean just a few weeks before temps are super hot and the air is full of smoke, which just sends everyone inside again. I like to be outside. As much as possible. I get depressed and crazy when I am stuck inside too much.
But its okay too. I can accept this is just happening , and I just want to work, and help. Its been hard to sit by while I work and study this weekend. I am not trying to sound all awesome about that. Helping to sandbag made me remember how much I actually like physical labor. It made me realize I am much stronger than I thought I was. It made me want to keep getting stronger.
And this summer I will keep going on as many hikes as I can, and enjoy the areas around my home town that bring me so much joy this time of year. I am really hoping to do a real backpacking trip or two as well. And if all goes well, even leave this area and travel a bit around the country!
Overall....I can't wait until this test is over. If I pass, it will be amazing. Its for my LCSW license, and it will help me qualify for higher paying work, and it will help me start my private practice, which is going to be like a consulting and coaching practice, but with this license people can use their insurance to pay me, or I can take some therapy clients too (maybe only kid clients), to help with income to support my other work.
If I fail, at least I can stop studying for a while, and focus on the many other things I am interested in and care about!
xo.
dflo