I have experienced the rock bottom most of my life that I have not seen the success as such. Most of the things that I experienced you can say are part of mediocre life. If I celebrate success it's like some punisher gives me punishment for being happy.

I think I stopped the habit to avoid the loss, I started accepting the loss and evil. These days I kind of chase them, and ask why are you running away, lol. Because when failure goes out of the life, it's not the success that you get often it's the emptiness, that's deadly worst than hell because despite movement, we are not failed and not successful either, yet empty.

I just however feel good that I have crossed enough levels and when I look back there are plenty of unfortunate people out there who can't know what I know, or be what I am, or even do what I do.It's just that I am short of where I deserve to be or wanted to be. But that's alright. Life it is!