Overtime, you learn to say 'Yes' , 'Is that so?' , 'I can only imagine', to friends who have very little understanding of "the human condition". Because you know, or, as time lapsed, have tested them well enough to understand the extent of their empathy. You start to conclude that the world works this way: it moves, revolves, never stops a second to say hi, and that is what these types of friends, better than you, have understood. And, rightfully so, that is the universal equation of the world--that time waits for no one--and these friends are lucky to have understood it early. Movement!
What you must do is go where peace is, where your little life counts to you, and in-so-far-as we all seek what's best in life, if you find yourself in a boys' quarter, eating moi-moi and drinking garri; it may not be the life you envisioned, but your peace can start from there, far from the maddening crowd. (I'm not saying be satisfied with poverty. I'm saying begin, from somewhere, anywhere.)
You must understand your weaknesses, acknowledge them, and share them. They shouldn't be things you cower into, or runaway from. Realize that good people come in different shapes and colours; they cannot be an embodiment of everything good you're after.
Never let anyone tell you who you are. If you do, you start to believe them. Some people are that way, thinking that they can count the dark spots on your wings. But you're a beetle, and If they can't see the red , then why do you need them?
I have learnt to stop trying to validate the good in me, chasing after people and yelling, 'Hey! Hey!! Don't you remember me? Mr Church?'
Find a path that works for you. For years this may be confusing, especially when you pitch yourself against others. Let it dawn on you that success is not your birthright, that way it makes it easier to celebrate in the joy(s) of others. Yes, technically, life is a race, but a race against time and no one. Come to terms with your unique journey; it'd help you be less confused.
Cherish family above all else. Cherish friends who love you like family. Cherish people who take you as you are. Cherish your healers.
I find that over the years I have been trying to be something concrete. Someone who everyone can say, 'Yes. That's what he does for a living,' and the quest has made me cynical, as I have been running, to and fro, to everything and nothing. Seating in this armchair, I realise that I am concrete; my feelings, mindset, character(albeit complex), body, everything is concrete. I just have to continue the plan I've set for myself, and everything I am, as long as there is life within me, like sand, I will make concrete.
Voice. It's a thing that takes time to mature. Cause. It's a thing we must find the courage to pursue. Fear. It's the invisible death.
If I were a shadow, I'd understand, better, why a lot of times things seem so gloomy. But I am not a shadow. Life is a party, filled with rainbows and balloons. And I must rise to the occasion.
Some people don't see themselves being anything. I know I don't. I simply know I have something, something I could work on, learn more about, and make something out of. I don't think anyone sets out seeing themselves as something. I mean, we define our futures, say what it should be, but I think time comes with its unknowing. And it is then we must speak to ourselves, remind ourselves of the little we have, and decide to make the frightening choice of doing something with it: being something concrete.