Last night, during the full moon, I completed my last ketamine treatment in a series of six. Over the course of the past three weeks, I have gone into a clinic and hooked myself up to an IV and had ketamine pumped into my body in hopes that it will heal my brain.
The experience was way more than I could have ever asked for. I was able to work through some pretty intense memories and emotions. I was also able to really begin my spiritual path and find direction for my life.
Traditionally, when doing Ketamine Therapy, you try and abstain from cannabis or any other types of mind altering substances on treatment days. My wife and I became friends with the owners of the clinic and they are very into natural medicines and gave me some pretty good insight on using cannabis and psychedelic mushrooms during treatments. They said that using those types of substances can be very beneficial and enhance the experience if done with the right intentions.
On the 19th, I had four grams of psychedelic mushrooms and had the most amazing mushroom trip of my life. I've done mushrooms a few times in the past, but I have never gone into it as prepared as I did on that day. I spent time finding videos to watch during my trip and music to listen to that would guide me on my journey.
I ate the mushrooms at around noon that day and by about 1 or so, I went and laid down in my room and listened to a playlist to guide me on the beginning of my journey. The come up with mushrooms was pretty uncomfortable and a bit scary because I didnt know what was gonna happen.
Time started going extremely slow and I remembered that I kept changing my position of how I was laying on the bed. It felt like I had been in there for hours but it had only been like an hour and ten minutes. I was thinking about my life and everything that had led me to this point where I was laying in my room after ingesting a large dose of magic mushrooms.
After nearly two hours of listening to calming music that is supposed to help begin the trip, I decided to put on a playlist of music that I put together to guide me through the rest of my trip. It consisted of a lot of EDM and some newer artists that I had recently found.
Once I turned my own playlist on, things got really interesting. Prior to turning on my own music, I was trying to force the trip to go a certain way and force feelings that I thought I should be feeling. But once I turned on my own music, I was able to relax into the experience and I told myself that I was just along for the ride.
My playlist began with an album by Savej. Shamanic chanting and deep bass began to penetrate my ears and my body was flooded with all the different emotions. Savej's music has an ancient sound to it that felt so familiar to me, like I had heard it all before. The ancient chants has a lot of Aztec influence and influence from other ancient cultures that have been known to utilize these natural medicines for thousands of years throughout history. It was like the music was beginning to guide me on a journey into my own mind.
As I was laying on my bed and watching my ceiling fan spin above me, ripples started coming off of the blades of the fan. It was like I was beginning to see the air being pushed off of the blades as little strands of hair. Light began to shoot out of the strands and it seemed like reality was beginning to tear and I was sort of seeing behind the world that I normally see. I began to see geometric shapes around the corners of my vision. The ride had officially began.
My wife came in the room and laid with me for a while as I just listened to music and went deep inside my mind. One of my favorite songs named "Hummingbird" came on and it was like I was hearing it for the first time. The song took on an entirely different meaning to me. I began to think about how I had been on this journey of life pretty much alone and I was not letting anyone else really in.
I felt an overwhelming sense of love for my wife at that moment and appreciation for everything that we have been through together. The tears started flowing like a waterfall. At first I tried to stop them, but then I allowed myself to just feel all of the emotions. It was such a beautiful moment with my wife and it really solidified my love for her and for our family that we have created. The rest of the trip was amazing and really helped me mentally prepare for my last two ketamine treatments.
As I went into the next two treatments, I felt as if I was really beginning to get some benefits from all of this. I crafted a playlist for my fifth treatment and it was my best one yet. I don't know if it was the mushrooms I had done a few days prior, or the new music that I was using, but it was a totally different experience. My visuals during my ketamine treatment were pretty intense, but not scary or overwhelming.
Prior to the fifth trip, I would lay back once my IV was starting and I would cover my eyes with my eye cover. This time, I waited about 7 minutes and was just looking around the room before I covered my eyes.
I began to feel the medicine working as my body started to go numb. Then the room began to move as if it was breathing and it got kind of confusing to keep my eyes open, so I pulled my mask down and everything went pitch black. Then I was catapulted through space and I saw the beginning of time. Everything flashed a bright white and then I began to feel like I was crafting my own universe. It was then that I really began to feel like I was in control of creating my own reality for my life. It was an amazing experience.
I had almost a week break from my fifth to my sixth and final treatment, so I was a bit nervous because the dose was going to be the highest dose yet. I created a new playlist that had some ancient sounds, along with a few songs that really have some deep meaning to me.
As the medicine started to kick in, I began to feel as if I was being pulled down into blackness. Then I was looking up at the stars under a full moon. I began flying towards a pyramid that I saw in the distance. As I got closer and closer to the pyramid, I could feel the brick and earth that created it. I began to push through the stone and dirt and was led into the chambers deep within it until I was outside of a large sarcophagus.
The sarcophagus began to open up kind of like a Russian nesting doll. There were three layers to it and once the third layer opened up, I climbed out of it. The entire trip was such an amazing experience and I wasn't sure what to make of it.
Before I went to sleep, I had smoked Granddaddy Purple and began to think about the entire experience. I realized that this last treatment was the perfect way to end this experience. I was reborn in that treatment and I really feel like I am a different person than the one that started this journey three weeks ago.
Prior to this entire experience, I paid little attention to the small things, but now I catch myself just staring up into the sky or just watching leaves fall off the trees or snow falling. I am excited for life and for this new path that I am on. I grew up religious, but that never clicked with me and for the past 10 years or so, I felt a dark void in my life.
I realize that I am a spiritual being here on earth having a human experience. We are all connected to each other and to everything. Life is a gift and we must use our time here on earth to spread love. Everything we go through has a lesson attached to it and once we realize that our trials in life are just lessons to bring us closer to our potential, we learn to influence our path and manifest what we need. I am excited to see where my journey takes me from here.
