We have heard so many times about rising up and being the best we can be. We have been told many times that we can't let our darkness win. We have been taught many times about the victor's mentality.
All these are good. Psychology plays a vital role in the understanding of the human mind. It breaks down the complexity of the thought process and serves us the dividends on a platter.
This post right here is to talk about the opposite of what we hear all the time. Perhaps– just maybe– the reason we can't fully grasp the full anecdote of who the victor is, is because we have yet to understand who the victim truly is.
Many entrepreneurs have talked about their way up, using fancy words and giving us sugarcoated versions of what they've experienced. I say sugarcoated because, the mind has this supernatural ability to minimize the force of a blow rendered. Just visualize this. While a man tells of how he works his way up, washing dishes and working three jobs while still attending college and functioning on less sleep, he who experienced it lives the moment all over again. The constant lonely nights filled with desperate longings, endless questions and even depression; the hopelessness, and even the despair. It takes more than just words to relay something like that to an individual who most likely sees just the successes of this man. He didn't experience it and as such, his mind does the inevitable by playing visuals to this person. This person gets inspired by the story and feels goosebumps. He catches a fire in that moment.
Now, because he has no idea what this person really went through, his mind has given him the filtered version. This way, it is easy to preach the Victor's mentality.
But what if we switch up a bit and get to know the victim? The man with a broken soul? The man rejected a thousand times? The one who doesn't want to stand when he rises? The man who is constantly contemplating the meaning of life? The man who doesn't understand what it means to win? The man with the fixed mentality!
Now, before our billionaires and millionares really tasted victory, they had to succumb to defeat more times than you can count. They had to face battles– these battles always happens when they are alone, with their minds– and they emphasize on how it made them who they are. But we are talking about the victims. The people they were before they decided to die to themselves so as to be reborn.
I'd advise you to check out the book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success by Carol S. Dweck if you feel you want to go deeper and understand the types of mindsets.
The fixed mentality is the dominant trait of the victim. They are content with being just good enough for the fear that they'll fail. Failing isn't a good taste in the mouth but can you really measure success without failure? I'll leave you to answer that.
They are the realist who depend on sight rather than growth. No, they don't believe they can do better but why? Probably because they have been dealt life blows and seen the most ugly part it can offer.
They are good either way because they can't have a lot of expections. Expectations spells disappointment and that is something they can't handle.
They are safe. They don't take risks. They'd rather remain stupid than look stupid. I don't blame them. It takes a mind of steel to be put down and still rise to say "thank you for teaching me".
Now, these points above are just a few insights to who the victim is. Victims aren't always the weak ones that need protection. They are strong enough to protect themselves from anything bad. But! They also protect themselves from anything good. They are neutral and let life happen to them. Which is sad.
So you see? The mind is really powerful and hasn't been fully explored. There is a reason scientists couldn't come up with results– except for multiple theories– from multiple researches on the mind. There is a reason the mind is still one of the most researched topics today.
So ask yourself based on the points above, you can genuinely ask yourself Who am I?, Who do I want to be?.
The Teem with a Difference– Dreemport
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