It is very easy to talk. You know, when we have been privileged to not experience a bad situation, mostly situations that others experience, we think we are clever or are in control of our lives. Maybe we are or maybe you’ve just had an advantage you never saw until it is taken away. That is my case. 2026 has been an interesting year so far and I do not know what to call all that I am experiencing right now. Karma?
I have realised that over the years, circumstances I laughed at or insulted have found their way to me. I find myself living those things I thought I was too smart to handle. Things I despised and looked down on, giving them simple terms and classifying them with insulting names. Months later, I find myself in that situation and I know. I am not smart, I just had an advantage and during those times, I know what it was because it is taken away and I am left with a new found appreciation for these things.
A perfect example of how it started was back in Junior highschool. A classmate stepped on my sandal and ripped it. Justified, he is always a scatter-brain and tends to dive before he looks, so I took it at that. He was being stupid as usual, rough and competitive to get to class first and then ended up ripping my sandals. It wouldn’t have been a problem, my mom won’t yell at me or anything when she’d hear my explanation, I was just annoyed at the situation and took it out on him. I demanded that he fix it, the principal didn’t agree but I was a stubborn fellow. I needed him to face the consequences of his actions as I wasn’t buying the ‘it was an accident’ explanation. He took my sandal, went out of school and spent about thirty minutes (break time) looking for a cobbler (so I heard later) but came back with my sandals fixed. To me, he deserved losing his break period. Maybe he’d be more careful.
And the next day, I ripped someone’s sandal. Guess who? His! I wasn’t running, I was paying enough attention, he just happened to be in front of me and I put my leg forward at the wrong time. It ripped to my chagrin and I felt like a total idiot. I immediately offered to take his sandal to be repaired to which he smiled and asked me not to worry about it. Did I say I felt like an idiot? At that moment, I felt embarrassed and foolish. My classmates had witnessed the whole thing and so, it was harder to live down.
2026 is reminding of that daily. It is only January and I find myself living situations I sneered at in 2025. I don’t know what to classify this as but maybe it is to learn compassion? I have been judgemental towards people and their situations. I always felt they could handle it better but now, I realise that maybe they could but they just don’t have the opportunity to. Now, I feel embarrased whenever I remember each sneer, or show of disgust or snapping at a poor soul for not getting their act right. I feel so ashamed because I can’t admit to going through the same thing.
That is the consequence of being an asshole. You deal with the shit you created alone. I have learned to not be an asshole, believing certain things are above me. I have learned to not sneer at people or think they are the problem. Sometimes, people just have a bad day, not a bad heart.
Images are mine, taken with my iPhone XR
