When was the last time you told yourself, "Ah! "Finally, the peace I am wishing for has come!" This is absolutely everyone's goal: to achieve mental and physical peace. Growing up, I had to bear the pain of listening to hurtful words from my father and from other people. Some of them may not directly address me, but you know the person they are referring to is you. Personally, I’d love to have a peaceful environment, listen to music coming from the radio, and have a calm environment. It’s because of my personality and the character attached to it.
In our lives, we will reach a certain point where we think that we have enough. You’d endured enough. You’d felt enough pain. Most of you don’t know that I was branded as a feminine kid. In my country, when you are a boy, you have to act like a boy and be masculine as much as possible. If they find a hint of single feminism in you, then be ready to be called "gay" or "lesbian." They will make fun of you until you become enraged, and the only thing you can do is go home and hide from people.
As a kid, you have no broader sense of protecting your mind and filtering what others think about you. All you care about is pleasing the adults and performing well in school. However, everything has an end. At an early age, I felt drowned by my own emotions and the humiliation I suffered. I was twelve years old when I told myself that I would make their words backfire on them and subject them to not just the same humiliation, but double humiliation.
I endured it all. Not until I met a guy who became my spiritual leader and taught me how to value my life and bring out my potential at the highest level. He visited our school weekly, and we would have a cell group. Every Friday, we were looking forward to meeting him, and I didn’t know that I was changing. When I decided to fully commit myself and build a stronger relationship with God, I eventually started the process of healing.
I want to relate this to the interview I watched that was about forgiveness, love, humiliation, suffering, and healing. Empowering yourself from humiliation is a hard thing to do, but the fact that you are courageous enough to stand and pick yourself up to move forward is already an achievement in life. Once the walls preventing enemies from infiltrating your inner mind come down, don’t be discouraged. Push back on what they have said to you and protect your inner mind once again. It takes time to rebuild, but certainly, when it’s fully rebuilt, no one can ever touch you again.
Laughter can hide a heavy heart, but when the laughter ends, the grief remains. -Maricar Reyes-Poon
There are instances when we feel like people are talking about us, past issues we have, and the humiliation we have suffered. But ironically, people don’t really care about it, and it is just us who put ourselves into situations thinking and believing others are talking bad about us. When it happens, it leads to mental breakdowns, depression, and trust issues. I learned that stopping your mind from overthinking what’s not happening can help you develop an inner peace that transcends human comprehension. As your inner peace manifests, you’ll not care what people say.
Do not discount the process. This is a quote that is marked in my head, and I cannot forget it. I’m the kind of person who prefers to undergo a long process rather than take shortcuts. In life, there is no shortcut, especially when you are forgiving yourself and others who have hurt you badly. The pain will not go away, and while it will heal, it will leave a scar. The pains, stresses, and burdens we carried for a very long time cannot be washed out overnight. That’s why you shouldn’t discount the process you are going through. Whatever happens in the process is for the benefit of yours alone.
The best peace you can ever wish for is to forgive yourself. In my own process, it was difficult to forgive my father, who showed hostility when I was young, but beyond that, I looked at the few good memories we’ve had together. I just cried while my knees were bent down on the ground. I could still remember how loud my wail was. After that night, it felt as if thorns were removed from inside my heart. You know the feeling of no burden, just pure peace in your heart. That’s exactly what I felt that night.
When you were enlightened, all the worst things that happened in your life couldn’t move and control you anymore. You are moved because you let God fix you in a manner you didn’t know could happen to someone like you. He will bear your burden. Accept the abundance of life, as well as the inner peace you gained as a result of the process. Then, after a very long time, you can now utter the phrase, "Ah! "Finally, the peace I am wishing for has come!"
