I keep lists.
It's pretty much what allows me to be some semblance of functional in life.
It's not an old person thing, either. Looking back across the years, I can't honestly remember a time when I did not keep lists.
I think I first became aware that I had a sketchy short-term memory when my mother would send me to the store to buy three or four things and I really had no hope of remembering what they were... unless it was written down.
I was maybe 6 or 7 years old, at the time.
Subsequently, I learned that I'd better write down what the homework assignments were, and when they were due. I'm sure my parents must have found it very odd when their 9-year old son asked for a pocket calendar... for his 10th birthday.
In retrospect, one of my very clear early memories was of my dad mowing the lawn at the far end of our acre-and-a-half sized property, and reaching a point where the grass was particularly long and juicy. So he said to me "run down to the shed and pick up the grass bag for the mower, will you!"
So I ran to the shed, but by the time I got there I'd forgotten why I was there. I felt pretty sure that it had something to do with my dad mowing the lawn so it seemed like a rake would be the most likely thing needed so I grabbed a rake and returned to where my dad was mowing.
He rolled his eyes a little bit and said "well, whatever you don't have in your head you'd better have in your legs!"
Although that particular incident primarily ended up as a bit of funny family lore with respect to forgetfulness, in retrospect it was a clear indication that stuff that goes into my head was passing straight through without sticking.
So, I learned to keep lists.
Originally, I don't believe it was as much because I was wanting to remember things as it was in trying not to draw attention to myself as having a bad memory. It was a measure of self-protection from getting yelled at.
In time, I started keeping lists of many things.
There were short-term lists like grocery lists and lists of what I needed to get done during a day. There were lists of all the elements that needed to be completed in order to finish a particular project. There were lists of due days for my bills and credit cards, clearly posted next to the monthly calendar.
Ultimately, these were self-designed coping tools that started as a way to allow me to skate under the radar of "there's something wrong with him, he needs to go to a psychiatrist."
And you know what? It actually worked!
In its original context, the diagnosis for ADHD was based entirely on what teachers could directly observe in young boys, in a classroom setting.
Current research admits that that diagnosis actually only covers maybe 30-40% of what is entailed in the condition... including difficulty remembering instructions and items, minute-to-minute.
I should probably have been diagnosed 20 years ago... but the lists made it unnecessary.
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2026.08.05 00:50 PDT
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