I would have thought it was nothing but a crisp and sugary biscuit, fortunate enough to pull stunts on people, had I not witnessed the most shocking thing.
It was another sunset, like every other day, where offices were shut, and exhausted adults dragged strained feet to their homes. My friends and I decided to try the Chinese delicacies that our colleagues bragged about.
As our eyes caught the chandeliers that hung beautifully in the reception, we wondered why we never thought to visit a mini-paradise like Dynasty Dine-in.
I'd say the rice was something my tongue could not properly define even after the last spoonful. And before we knew it, a tray of dessert was brought.
I could affirm that neither of us ordered it. Well, desserts weren't bad, were they?
“Okay... This looks interesting,” Mike said first, but my gaze was still on the cookies before us. My friends broke into laughter like I were a clown.
“Are you just going to keep staring? C'mon! It doesn't bite.” Desmond said still laughing.
“It's just a cookie and a paper,” he added.
The duo went ahead to pick their papers. I watched them exchange knowing looks.
“Someone who dislikes you will get you a gift.” They both read aloud.
Desmond dropped his head into his palm. “Oh, boy. This thing is crazy.”
Mike was silent, his eyes seemingly wandering. I could not believe he was already imagining the possibility of that.
“Mike!” Desmond and I shouted, and he jolted back to reality.
He raised his hands. “No,” he began in a defensive tone. “I—”
“You were already counting your haters?” Desmond interrupted.
Mike laughed. Was there a special ingredient in the rice that made people laugh? I was going to ask, but their eyes shot at me like I had committed a crime.
Then, it dawned on me, I had not picked my paper. I flashed them a wink before picking it.
“You will meet a surprise in no time.” I raised surprised eyes at them and asked.
“This... a joke, right?”
Two weeks later, Desmond received a birthday gift from our boss, an expensive Dior cologne.
We watched with glee as Desmond jubilated over the video call that night, stating that his enemy had finally been turned over to his side. As single men, we spent most nights on video calls, cracking our ribs and sharing brotherly moments.
Desmond moved away from his phone and broke into a dance, moving his waist like an Igbo girl in a cultural dance. I laughed till my bones creaked within. Those guys, you'll never know how hilarious they could be until you're close.
The next day during our regular video call, Mike poured out a shopping bag containing boxers. With a crying and pouting face, he announced that his 'talking stage' friend had gifted him those.
Of all things, boxers? What did she take him for?
While still 'consoling’ and congratulating our dear brother for launching a ‘boxer business’, my doorbell rang. I excused them to go attend to it. Who could be at my door at 8 p.m.?
Juliet, my friend, appeared in flesh, grinning from ear to ear, her makeup glittering under the glowing bulb. With my mouth agape, my eyes instinctively ran from her face to the off-shoulder body con gown that graced her perfect body. I caught a wrapped gift in her hand, and trust my brain to swirl faster than my imagination.
“I know it's not your birthday,” she rushed at the words, then paused to inhale. “It's your... a pre-birthday gift.”
“Juliet? But my birthday is next month!”
She nodded. She knew. Immediately Juliet went on one knee, stealing further shock from my bones. Her eyes looked fearful, but brightened a little with a small smile.
I watched like a zombie as she inhaled for the umpteenth time. Then she brought out something from her handbag: a box of a diamond ring.
“Fred...” she trailed, half-gazing into my eyes. But as she cleared her throat to resume, I cut in abruptly.
“Are you proposing?”
She looked stunned at my question and yes, I was stunned at her action.
“Juliet!”
She flinched, the little inch of her smile fading.
“What is the meaning of this?” I asked.
She stood up, angry.
“I've always loved you, but you... bury yourself into work and your friends that you barely notice me.”
I stared, Juliet wasn't making sense.
“Sorry it came this way, but a lady has to do what she has to do.”
“To the point of selling yourself so cheap, Juliet? Like, proposing to me?” I was ashamed of how the last phrase tasted in my mouth.
A hard, calculated slap landed on my cheek, throwing me into the land of stars. Then I heard footsteps receding away.
It took another five minutes to recover from that shock. The wrapped gift lay helplessly on the floor. I looked afar and spoke as though she was still in view.
“What just happened? Juliet?”
“Wait... the fortune cookies.”
It clicked instantly. The fortune cookies had declared.
As I returned to my room, I could not help but run my hand over my thick hair. Still in shock, the news, I knew, was not a topic for my guys. I knew with this discussion, Juliet was in for them.
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