Peace-breakers are prideful and power up. If they don’t get their way, they blow up and make little misunderstanding become big.
Peace-fakers avoid conflict or clam up trying to shove conflict under the rug out of fear.
Neither way is glorifying or healthy.
Peace-makers see conflict as an assignment, not an accident. They approach the problem with humility, reasonableness, and seeking wisdom from God ( James 3:17-18 ). They do not intimidate, but they also do not hide. They expect conflict, embrace the opportunity to resolve things biblically, and have an urgency to keep unity in the midst of hard times.
The Word of God never treats the symptoms alone but handles every matter from the source. There are times when we try to control our anger or appease someone else’s with a moment of kindness, but it goes deeper.
The Source of Misunderstanding
James 4:1-12 .
"What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask. You ask and do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God?…"
The Word of God presents some very clear reasons why we can’t seem to lay down our agendas or get along well with others who differ from us.
The enemy is within us: We see early in this passage that conflict is internally motivated before externally manifested (your selfish passions are what you fight about most… even good desires have a way of morphing into demands!)
It’s not just what we want, its how much we want it : where are you coveting?
Practical steps out of misunderstanding
The focus of our study tonight is not to bring you to a position of blaming others but see to things you can do to improve your ability to handle misunderstandings which are unavoidable.
CONCLUSION
Is there anyone in your life you are bitter toward or someone you have offended deeply? Get challenged to get your eyes off another’s sin and turn your focus inward with a vertical orientation ( Psalm 139:23-24 ).
Remember, those who are in Christ are called to be peace-makers. That requires for us to be intentional with how we deal with conflict.
