I will start by saying: if you know your worth, you will live a self-controlled life effortlessly.
Sometimes, people who get pressured and restless about other people's achievement and accomplishment are people who are not self-aware. It is very easy to to feel pressured by what another person has and has achieved. Yes, that is normal but there is a place where you draw the line:
when you start to feel you're not good enough
When you dwell in self pity.
It's okay to want to look successful, but something has to bring about the success because no one wakes up to become successful without making efforts.
And yes, the pressure I feel is the one to be actually successful and not to look successful. I have seen people who are successful, and I always want to be like them but not look like them when I haven't put in the work— I want to actually become, not look like.
I would rather put in the work, stay consistent, build the life I want than trying look like what I want. I have heard people say things like "Fake it, till you make it." trying to look like someone or something before actually becoming can be explained in two context.
First, if you want to achieve a particular thing or there is a field you want to go into, you can start acting like it, developing some sort of interest in it, getting closer to people in that field in order to learn from them, you can even behave like them once in a while.
But the other context is where you're just faking lifestyle because of pressure, or because you want to feel among. You want to be heard and seen.
I would like to think that people who fake lifestyle are people with low self esteem.
I created a quote few years ago, and it goes:
"Focus first on building good reputation for yourself; it may not make sense to you, but will surely speak loud when you need recommendations."
So, nothing beats building something from the scratch, building will help sustain it when storm rises, when there is difficulty, when you feel like you want to give up. But when you cut corners and just want to become, that is where you fail because you didn't build, you didn't face challenges, you can't manage crises or the risk involved. So, any little thing can just get you discouraged.
I'm currently working on my fashion business, I have made lots of outfit for people, family and myself, but haven't really sent out my designs or posted them online, asking for clients and all that. This is not because I do not know how to sew, but I am still building, I want to be good at it, and want to get to a certain level where my work speaks for itself, I don't just want to rush over it. Because for me, it isn't just about the money, the clients, it's not about trying to impress anyone, or telling people that I am not dormant, that I'm actually doing something with my life, it's not about gaining approval, and getting applauded. It's about me, what I want and the kind of life I want. A few people know about it, though, but I just want to be better before marketing myself and earning from it (though I'm still earning when I sew for people😊.) Sometimes, we just have to invest in ourselves first before going for the money.
Building something at first may be very tough, uncomfortable, it might not even make sense but will announce you when people are looking for someone with honesty and integrity. Building isn't just about tangible things like business, and the likes, you can build character, you can be someone that people trust so much that recommendations starts coming even when you least expect it.
Someone also said something: " manufacture yourself before you market yourself, "
That is, become that which you want before telling people oh, this is who I am. In some cases, after building, what you have built starts speaking for you, you don't even need to stress over certain things anymore. Because once you're good, you are good.
There is dignity in labour, building, hard work, commitment, and consistency.
Go through the phase, go through the pain, stay even when you feel like leaving, build, and keep building till you become what you want and not just look like it.
Image is mine
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Enjoy your weekend