Everyone tends to find solace and acceptance from each other, we want to love and be loved. Want to surround ourselves with people that cares for us, and we can also care for. But as a saying goes “this life is not balance” some give their all but received little in return,some give little but regret giving it, while some kept theirs due to life experiences. Experience, they say, is the best teacher.
According to the prompts, why do some people tend to stay in toxic relationship despite the physical and the emotional abuse they are passing through in their relationship, Some of these reasons are not farfetched. Let me put it in just one sentence some are guilty and some are innocent. Innocent because they are just victims of circumstances.
Guilty in the sense that we have some people who stay in toxic relationship due to the benefit they are getting from it. This makes me to remember a day I find myself in a discussion with my course mates while waiting for the lecturer to come. Discussing money and love, one of my course mates said, and I quote “I'd rather cry in a Lamborghini than being happy with some poor guy”. I was shocked when I heard that and even tried to talk her out of it. And then she breaks the hedges, she said she preferred being use for money ritual and having the grace to spend from the money with the man, than building life with any guy. I want to believe she is not the only one out there with such mentality. Exchanging peace with wealth is some people's conclusion. I am not judging them though because many has been through some unpredictable life experiences and some it’s due to laziness and greediness.
Although both gender are victims of these circumstances. If we are to rate it well, female are more pron to toxic relationship than the opposite gender. There is a saying that female are emotional beings. Once a lady is in love. Even when better options comes, she is blind to it, just as the popular saying that “love is blind”. I guess to some extent this is a true saying and this happens vice versa sometimes as well. A lady said he loves me, he is just trying to give me some home train. I laugh in Spanish, home training my foot!
Ignorance of way out keep some percentage in toxic relationships, no good advice and no other alternative they could opt for. Some have turned this their abuser into small gods, and standing up for themselves is a no-go area. Some in their ignorance believe they can change their abuser or the person will change over time not knowing only God can change the heart man and also if the person is ready to visit a therapist or a counselor.
The bitter truth is that most of these abusers don’t believe what they are doing is wrong. So seeking for help is not in their dictionary and most of their victims also neglect the place of professional help.
Some abusers also threatened their victims not to speak out or making them realize that they are the only one that can accommodate their excesses. They make the victims looks like the black sheep. Not realizing they are the real beast.
For these categories of people to receive help and to help them, we first have to bring them to the place of understanding that their abuser is a villain, and they are the victim. They must understand that death or permanent disability will be the end or outcome of the relationship.
Also, we can advise such to seek the help of a professional counselor. We can also advise the person to separate from the relationship for the abuser to come to reality!
In the overall journey of life our mindset and mentality must be worked on.
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