I described myself a certain way for years. Used specific words. Had a reliable self narrative that explained why i was the way i was, what i valued, how i operated. It felt like self awareness. It was partly that.
It was also partly a story i had stopped questioning because the story was comfortable and familiar and useful in how it explained my behaviour to myself and to others.
Then things happened and i changed. Slowly at first and then more noticeably. Values shifted slightly. Priorities reorganised. Ways of engaging with the world that had always felt like just who i am started feeling more like habits i had never examined closely enough to decide whether i actually wanted to keep them.
I resisted this for a while. There is something unsettling about the self you thought you knew becoming uncertain. It raises uncomfortable questions about what was actually real in the previous version and what was just narrative.
But the discomfort passed. And what came after it was something more honest than the stable self story had been. A willingness to be still figuring it out at an age where i had expected to be more settled. An openness to the possibility that the person i am becoming is not betraying the person i was but just continuing a process that does not actually stop.
You are allowed to change your mind about what you believe. About what you want. About what kind of person you are or want to become. Changing is not inconsistency of character. It is character doing what it is supposed to do over time.
The most interesting people i know are not the ones who are exactly who they decided to be at twenty two. They are the ones who kept paying attention and kept adjusting based on what they actually learned.
You are not required to stay who you were. Growth is not a betrayal of yourself.
It is the whole point.
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