For a long time happiness was somewhere slightly ahead of me. After the next thing. After the situation resolved or the goal landed or the relationship arrived or the number in the account reached a certain point. Always just around the corner from wherever i was standing.
I was very disciplined about this. Never quite letting myself arrive. There was always something between me and the version of life where i would finally be allowed to feel like things were good.
It took a strange moment to crack that open. I was sitting on a rooftop somewhere in the early evening, nothing special happening, just the light doing something nice and a drink in my hand and nowhere i urgently needed to be. And i noticed i was happy. Not ecstatically, not in a way that required documentation. Just quietly, plainly, genuinely okay with being exactly where i was.
And then immediately my mind tried to move past it. Started thinking about what came next, what was unresolved, what this feeling would look like once the evening ended. Like my brain was uncomfortable with the simplicity of just being in the moment and needed to complicate it back into something with more urgency.
I sat with that for a while after. The realisation that i had trained myself so thoroughly to look for happiness somewhere other than where i actually was that i almost missed it when it showed up in the most ordinary form imaginable.
Happiness in the dramatic sense, the kind that announces itself, is real but rare. The quieter kind, the kind that lives inside ordinary moments when you are actually present enough to feel them, that one is available much more often than i had allowed myself to notice.
I am not suggesting everything is secretly fine if you just adjust your perspective. Real hardship is real. But i am saying that in the gaps between the hard things, there are more moments of genuine okayness available than i ever let myself actually land in.
Slow down enough to notice them. They are happening more than you think
https://vote.hive.uno/@thebbhproject
https://vote.hive.uno/@hivecuba
Support the witness and vote for TheBbhProject carried out by 
