Marriage today is a heated word. Mention it to a person and you will one of two reactions; a sudden butterflies filling up their bellies or a deep hearted reflection into the matter. One can say the first reaction is largely attributed to an individual just growing their way up through life, while the other reaction from a person who has spent much time in life enough to understand by experience or observation the demands of the marriage institution, and how difficult it might seem.
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Notwithstanding, the institution of marriage is one that you don't just stroll your way in like a bar, rather one that has to be rightly entered with all deliberate efforts and intentionality. We've all, arguably, had our fantasies about how our marriage would be like. Inspired by the Cinderella story fiction or whatever wonderful imaginations and works of fiction, we grew up later to understand better. Well, I understood better.
By such understanding I've come to realise a lot more is needed on my part; a duty of personal development and preparation and not just making a list of what I hope of my supposed better half—yes, we'll be one. It's then a journey towards such development, however not leaving out the part of setting my standards. I mean, if trash cans have a standard to meet to be found worthy of usage, how much more the woman I hope to build a life and family with?
Compatibility would play in, and in different respects. She has to be a God-fearing lady, with good morals and values, one able to encourage me in God when I could be falling apart, while being a support system as well. Having a woman with this standard is one not to be negotiated. With good morals and the values of integrity, honesty, trust, sympathy, tolerance and the ability to take corrections, she's a good to go.
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Character is very important, paramount to an extend I'll say; not holding physical beauty less also. I've seen beautiful yet arrogant ladies, and how reprehensive they seemed to me doesn't make it an option. How about having the two, huh? She should also be one who is confident in herself and supportive. Nothing beats more than knowing your better half is your best supporter, that's a great confidence booster.
The ability to manage and utilise finance well would be a great deal. I'm sure no man—some might, I don't know—can afford to have a partner who is a reckless spender. Rather, a lady who is considerate and a good manager of finance is every man's choice; and I'm one. This has caused issues is marriages and I don't intend for such. A hardworking, good looking, industrious lady are certainly qualities that will be appreciated.
Well, I'm still working on myself, so let me not put too much standards, huh? No man or woman can be perfect even with the most wildest of our imaginations or fantasies. Marriage and a perfect partner isn't the work a great genie or fortune cookie, it's the effort of two perfectly imperfect individuals, coming together and complementing each other unto perfection—or as perceived to be.
