The culture of saying “yes” or being a “yes man” or “yes woman” to every request or desire seems to be the order of the time we're in. It's alarming. It's like there's this indebtedness to reply in the affirmative. Perhaps the culture today has influenced this, or it's just the sheer desire to feel among, get a favour, look cool and be on people's good books.
Not to say that such actions and acts fueled by several of these desires haven't led many to become “yes people” in the past. It's just that it seems to be heating up more and more today. Coincidentally, I came across a post today that suggests something in this line. It spoke of how we need to give up the attitude of trying hard and doing all to be in everybody's good books. I think that's one of the reasons we find it hard to say “no.”
Nevertheless, I think there's a thin line on this. Let it not be that one will also turn into a total “no” person, who doesn't care about others, but rather is extremely comfortable in saying “no” to everything or every request. And not to set this only on our “yes” or “no” reactions to people and their requests. There's also that part that stems from the resolutions of our minds or hearts.
At times, it's that heated desire, bubbling within that we might need to take note of, and not be a “yes person” towards them. I consider that it could even be harder to say “no” to our own requests or desires, springing from within, even when we know there are tendencies of these things wreaking havoc on us. We need to be able to say “no” to such things too.
Well, it's not like I've been perfect at saying “no.” Sometimes, you're trying to be at peace with people, or right with them so not giving the nod could seem not nice of you. However, it's necessary not to give that nod at times, for sanity's sake and that peace as well. People tend to even want to take advantage of that at times. Saying “no” when necessary is important.
I remember a certain time; a long time back, I was supposed to follow a friend somewhere. For some reason, I knew he would ask me to go along with him. It wasn't a new thing. Normally, I could just oblige, but that time, I felt I had to say no. It wasn't just saying no, I think I wanted to have a standing of my own and not just wandering around. It was surprising, because we were not having issues, but I had to say no, in a reasonable way. Fortunately, it didn't lead to any problems between us.
With time, I learnt to say “no” when I need to, especially when I feel my kind gestures are being abused. It's not all a perfect resolve though. Coming down to saying “no” to one self desire or the other, whispering within, I've done that several times. Much more when I know that such a thing or desire isn't of a positive effect. Not to say that it was all easy, but I had to when I needed to. It wasn't all a success though.
The results are usually wonderful when I learnt to say “no” when it's necessary. The process isn't always easy, though sometimes it's a straight response, no mincing of words. I'll say that not giving the affirmative when it was necessary has been rewarding; talk of the peace, the stress avoided, the rest, and all that saying “yes” in an uncomfortable situation could steal. Well, it's still a progressive effort, a necessary one.
Images are mine.
