So, I'm gonna write drunk what I have been thinking sober. Yes, this is ironic. As you read you will see just how ironic.
It seems to me, and has actually been bothering me lately, that pretty much everyone is addicted to one substance or another. This is the motivating factor to everyones existance, the reason we do things. I don't think it was always this way. I think once we cared, we did things for other reasons, not just to pay bills and have enough money to get high, or drunk, or whatever. I mean I think there has to be more to life that just working to feel good for a couple hours every night. Isn't there? In the past didn't people do other things to unwind? Non chemical enhancement things? what did people do? Can we still do them? Is everyone an addict of some sort? Why? How did this happen? Is dopamine and seratonin the only things that matter? I hope not. There has to be something else, some form of life beyond the half life of this, this haze, this waking nightmare. Sobriety is lonely, i've done it, the boredom and depression make nothing seem fun, nothing seems worthwhile. Alcohol fosters the illusion that things are great, that you are witty and even talented. Marijuana relieves stress and pain and makes nothing matter, or at least you can no longer remember what you were stressed about. I don't know what uppers do, I don't even care enough to find out. But there are a great many people enslaved to a great many drugs. What were humans like au natural? Does anyone know? Has it happened recently? I mean actually au natural, without the stigma/dogma of religeon. An actual human acting humanly without so much as a cup of coffee. Does such a thing exist? Modern life seems to be an ever increasing acceleration to the final days of kidney dialisys, and breathing tubes, followed inevitably by poverty stricken death. I don't think this is what we are intended to be, what we are intended to do. I don't think this is us. This scociety we have, this system. I think the reason we are so fucked up is that we are acting contrary to our nature. Forced to act a way we are uncomfortable with, to adhere to a scociety we don't even really fully understand. This whole 9-5 punch in punch out menial labor thing is the base scource of our unhappiness. I dont think we were ment to run on a schedual, like a machiene. nothing else in nature runs on a clockwork schedual. sure there are seasons, there are natural events, but none are down to the minuite planned and executed. Humans are not machienes, we are not ment to act like machienes. When we do, it causes us pain, maybe not physically, but psycologically, and spiritually. And this is why we turn to drugs, and drink. To feel more human, to feel less, stress, to kill the pain.
