Tribe

Hey friends!

I want to use this post to talk about how we construct our tribes: our circle, the people that surround us and make up the human landscape of our lives.

These people are magic. They manage to both live their own lives and contribute profoundly to ours. Their capacity for support, advice, and love astounds me. We need this, as no individual can thrive without their interconnected web. There is even a deeper level of beauty in this. Whether we consider ourselves to be introverted or extroverted, individualistic or part of a team- the people of YOUR tribe are there because of the relationship between you. There is no "one size fits all" model or an ideal way of "doing relationships". Each connection between humans is unique and downright glorious, and serves its purpose to those involved.

This may sound like an idealistic way of thinking about the people in our lives. However, I would argue that even the process of improving or removing toxicity from our discord with others is a beautiful thing. Our tribe is there to challenge us, to give our bullshit a name and make sure that we are getting better at being people. This is inevitably accompanied by conflict, as we are by nature defensive and resistant to change. But in doing so, we grow as individuals and in partnership.

Everything I have stated thus far contributes to my belief that cultivating the healthy and moving away from the destructive relationships is vital to our happiness.
A word on the destructive. If there is a connection in your life that has become fraught with toxicity, you are allowed to move away from it. I have explained why I believe our tribes are so important; why would you allow that sacred space to be infiltrated by negativity? There is no sense in pouring your energy into a cup full of holes. Recycle that cup. Buy a new one that fulfills its purpose. I understand how hard and sad this is, but in time you will be amazed at all the ways you are able to grow in the absence of this hole- ridden cup.
The healthy relationships, then? CULTIVATE. INVEST. GIVE. These are arguably some of the most valuable things in our lives. Act accordingly. Spend time, be willing to say yes to favors (remember how hard it is to ask for things!), and listen listen listen. Learn the languages of love that these people speak, and become fluent. It is so worthwhile.

The plethora of tribes in this world is like the multiverse that is beginning to be described by physicists. Each is both its own entity and inextricably intertwined with the others. "Your vibe attracts your tribe"// Exude light and love and find those qualities begin to manifest in your life, and in your circle.