My boyfriend and I will soon be embarking on a wild adventure- we have joined the Peace Corps! Our foot prints will mark Zambian soil for the next two years. We depart in two weeks, and I am equal parts thrilled and terrified. Funny, isn't it, how similar these two states are? What really blows my mind is this: I have no precedent for what I am about to encounter. There is nothing in my past that prepares me for a future of farming in this beautiful African nation.
The removal from developed society isn't actually what scares me. I am truly looking forward to disconnecting from the barrage of news, data, and social media that defines our tech-y culture. I am excited for rural living- growing my own food, getting my hands dirty, and transportation by bike. I am scared of missing my loved ones. I am scared of losing my place in their lives, as they barrel forward towards great things. I worry that I won't be able to support them in the same capacity. The thought of seeing photos of graduations, weddings, vacations... it hurts already, if I'm honest.
Here is what I have realized. I'm sure that witnessing my loved ones' lives progress will be painful. I'm sure that I'll feel the separation of oceans and time zones and the equator. However, I get to create experiences that would be unavailable to me without this life- changing journey. I get to create a second home, half a world away. I hope that this will make the planet feel a little smaller, a bit less daunting. I hope that it will embolden me to travel and volunteer throughout my life. The other thing is this: I get to come home. I get to come back and re- enmesh myself into the lives of the people I love (although I can't think about that yet).
I know that these next two years will stimulate personal growth. I am torn between setting specific goals or simply opening my palms to the lessons that come. Hopefully I will do both, but I'd like to share two things that I definitely want to work on.
I am profoundly impatient. I hope to use this time, which will involve a slower lifestyle and slow- moving projects, to ease my rapid pace.
I have leftover eating disorder tendencies that include exercise addiction and food fixations. I hope to release my grip on them, as they inhabit more of my mental space than I'd like.
I am a creature of habit. Sometimes routines serve me well and other times I simply serve them. I look forward to living in an environment full of unpredictability.
In conclusion, Peace Corps Zambia, I am ready to dive in. I promise to commit my heart and intellect to developing relationships and projects. Chileshe!(Cheers/Good Health, in the Bemba lenguage)
